Mar 30

Nice Talking With You. Got a Card?

Last night I attended a reception at The University Club in San Diego, where I’m a member. The gig was for the Young Executive Society, which offers programs and parties for its young (at heart) members. 34 stories above the city with views of the harbor, the mountains and Mexico, we talked and networked ourselves hoarse. After, we retired to the bar and had some water and milk.

In all, my two colleagues and I spent three hours at the event. I collected seven business cards. As is my custom, today I sent physical thank you cards to each person I met.

I fully expected that of the seven cards I gave out, precisely none of them would be used for anything meaningful. I say half-happy, it didn’t turn out that way; I got two emails.

It is customary in America to ask for a business card after you’ve been speaking with someone for a while, though I don’t know why that is. In my experience the vast minority of people will ever pick up the phone or send a physical note or letter as a result. It’s nice to get an email, but not as nice as getting a card in the good old US Mail.

I think physical cards and letters are a more sophisticated way of advancing our relationships. And isn’t that what we’re trying to do at these events; discover genuine interest and do something meaningful, or better yet - meaning-full - for the evolution of all involved? Or are we just peddling stuff?

As if on a director’s cue, about an hour ago, I received an email from two of the people with whom I exchanged business cards. (I rarely ask for someone’s card - if only because eventually the standard request will seek mine. I prefer to invite people to coffee and, if asking for the card at all, use the business card as a way to set-up the meeting via a phone call.) The email said the party was fun and we should meet up sometime soon.

Call me old fashioned, or out of touch with how business is advanced these days, but I think email is the bottom of the marketing communication barrel, sharing space with Realtor postcards and the Albertson’s weekly flyers. I’m not telling stories out of school here. I tell my Realtor clients what I think of the industry standard (a.k.a. un-special, un-targeted and thoroughly un-elevating) postcard campaigns.

The main problem with using email to advance a nascent relationship is that it, like most connections made at networking events, is ephemeral. Email stays fresh as long as bread left out overnight.

Plus, doesn’t everyone know how long it takes to “write” a two sentence email? It requires a fraction of the time (i.e. energetic effort) as writing a paper note. That efficiency serves the sender, but aren’t thank you notes supposed to serve their recipients foremost? Fact is, new relationship seeds require higher quality care than is given by email.

Further, email is two dimensional, leaving only the visually stimulated the slightest chance of being moved by it. Cards and physical letters, by contrast, are three dimensional; they engage us on a number of levels; visual, olfactory (some paper has a really nice aroma), kinesthetic in that we touch it and literally feel it, and auditory as we hear our finger rip the envelope open by sliding a finger under the saliva-sealed flap. Shoot, if you really evaluate it, sealing an envelope with a lick of the flap is like impriting the card with your DNA. Also, cards bend. We turn them over to see if anything is written on the other side. We open them wondering if something will fall out. In all, we have a multilayered experience that is not possible with email.

HINTS: If you want to transcend the limitations of email - and still use it - then here’s my advice:

1. Say something that tells me you’ve done more than kick off a three-second-effort cybernote. (It’s the rare Buddha that doesn’t want to know he’s a little special.)

2. Say something that tells me why you enjoyed meeting me. What about our conversation was most interesting to you?

3. Tell me what about the night you enjoyed most? What continues to stick with you hours after the event ended.

This stuff needn’t be about me per se, but it should be about the space and time we shared and what happened in them.

In short, the old fashioned thank you card is a multisensory and multifaceted offering. We should exhume it from the grave of old fashioned ways of relationship and business building. When we do, we’ll show people that we are truly grateful for having shared a path with them. We’ll also prove we invested several minutes out of our busy day to communicate something meaning-full; our gratitude for having encountered them.

Hi. Nice talking with you. Got a card?

Yeah. Yeah, I do. Can I send it to you in the mail?

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