Jun 20

Courting Legends

The dinner/drinks meeting I was to have with Ken Blanchard on 6/16 - the meeting I invited him to and the invitation he accepted - did not happen. And it really doesn’t matter much.

A day before we were to sit and talk I got this email:

Dear David,

Sorry, I’m not going to be able to get a drink or dinner this Thursday after the MSEL Reception. However, we could have a conversation after the session but I’ll need to leave shortly thereafter.

See you then.

Ken

That night, I thanked him for helping me via his books, but beyond that we did not have a conversation. Like I said though - it doesn’t matter.

Why, all of a sudden, does it not matter? Well, let’s see if I can explain it. For starters, Ken Blanchard is a legend in the field of management science. I was courting him because it would be a kick for me to talk with him over dinner. But, what is in it for him?

Some years ago I tried to meet Peter Block, the management consultant and author of many books including, The Answer to How is Yes. That book is a fantastic blend of philosophy and proven management process. He thanked me for the offer and said matter-of-factly, “Like I said in my book, I don’t accept many invitations like yours. I ask you this: I know why you would want to meet with me. Why should I meet with you? What’s in it for me?”

I gave him high marks for forthrightness; he certainly put it plainly, didn’t he? He also offered to respond to any questions I might want to ask him via email. I thanked him for that.

In any case, it doesn’t matter. Why? Because Peter Block is right; I wanted to talk with him and Ken Blanchard mainly to see what I could get from them. What I could learn. How I might impress. Who else I could talk to about my ideas. All of those reasons are selfish. Heck, I wouldn’t want to meet with me under those auspices!

Now, don’t get me wrong; I can hang in any conversation about management, human nature and leadership. I can talk with anyone creatively and insightfully about any subject. There is no problem with that. But, does he know that? Of course not. I’m just a guy who wants to talk with him. Hardly a compelling reason for him to delay returning to his wife after a tiring day.

The thing is, meeting these people is pointless to my life and my work. What’s the real value of saying, “I had dinner with Ken Blanchard”? Bragging rights, if the truth be told. The people Ken Blanchard dines with regularly don’t tell people they eat together. Think about it; the bragging is by people well on the outside the legend’s intimate circle, business or otherwise.

At the time, I was a little disappointed. But, even then it came to not matter much. And, in a terrific twist, the very next day I was accepted into the Masters program his company co-created with the University of San Diego. So, courting Ken-the-Legend was even more pointless; our paths will cross naturally during my next two years of study.

If you’re the type who has to buy the extra-expensive tickets to sit in the first five rows and have a glass of wine after some legend’s presentation, ask yourself why it is so important to you. My growing perspective on the subject tells me the wiser way to spend my money is to learn all there is worth learning from these people, skim off the fame into an empty tin can, like my grandmother used to do with bacon fat - because it is just as good for me, then spend the money I would have spent on the fancy ticket on creating ways to embody the legend’s biggest ideas in my own life and work. I can be the channel for that person’s BIG ideas to the people whose lives I touch. I mean, they’ve already written the book. I should just read the book and get moving in my life with their best lessons.

Courting legends is a way of keeping them on a pedestal. Make great use of their best ideas and you step up beside them – eventually even as a peer. That seems a better way to invest our time and energy than trying to impress or grab some knowledge from a legend over dinner.

What are your thoughts about courting legends?

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