Aug 22

Jiffy Lunacy

Recently I took the Jeep to Jiffy Lube for an oil change. I arrived about 2:30 P.M. on Saturday afternoon to the surprise of a short line.

The young man took my order promptly at the computer terminal beside the service car. He asked a couple questions like, “What model car is it?” “A Jeep,” I said a little surprised. “What model?” he asked. “Wrangler,” I replied. “What year?” he continued. “2004,” I replied. He checked the mileage and the car was promptly driven over the hole in the floor below which stood another young man ready to dump the oil.

I entered the waiting area, which was clean, smelled of coffee and was buzzing with the voices of the cashier and the customer who was just paying. I went outside to watch the guys work on the Jeep.

They were systematic in their work. The work was finished in ten minutes. One man lowered the hood, pushing down on the plastic bug deflector and secured the hood using the external latches on each side of the hood. I went back inside thinking, “Can’t they see the deflector is just plastic and it shouldn’t be pushed on like that?” No harm was done so I proceeded to pay.

At the counter was a woman so mechanical in her routine she seemed robot-like. My paperwork was pulled up. She told me what work was done, how much oil was put in and what the charges were. I was offered a frequent customer card and asked to sign on the dotted line. At no point did this woman make eye contact with me. She was perfectly engrossed in the efficiency of the transaction.

And then came the line that let me know their entire value system. “I’ve attached a satisfaction survey about your visit today and we’d appreciate you giving us a rating of excellent,” she said, spinning the line out of the automatic script in her head. I signed the form and thought to myself, There is no way I’m giving a score of excellent now. “Thank you. Have a nice day,” were her parting words.

One sentence and she showed me what they value; they want excellent ratings and nothing else. They don’t want the truth, they want “excellent” ratings. And, any business that doesn’t want the truth is facing a gathering storm.

Telling a customer you would appreciate a particular rating is silly. Attempting to influence my satisfaction rating is a silly way to generate good marks. The truth is the only thing that should be relevant. But, I can guess why they don’t want the truth.

The shop is a franchise. The mother company, Jiffy Lube International, Inc. evaluates their franchisees on a variety of performance metrics, one of which is customer satisfaction. By encouraging “excellent” ratings, local management thinks they will achieve a higher customer satisfaction rating, improving their standing, if not financial rewards, from Jiffy Lube International. I understand that perfectly well - and it’s still silly.

And anyway, I would not have given them an excellent rating for two primary reasons; the cashier never made eye contact, and they don’t want the truth. She sounded like a robot. The service was efficient to a fault. Any person in a service position who does not take the time to talk to me like a warm human being and make eye contact so I know she is actually engaging me is not giving excellent service.

The only thing that matters is the truth. Everything else is delusion, and not the good kind. Just let people tell you what their experience was like the way they want to tell you. If you’ve created a truly excellent service experience, you’ll hear about it. If you haven’t, you can attempt to jury rig the survey results, and that may get you higher accolades with your management, but it may cost you customers. You can still get the ratings you want and still lose customers - as is the case with me.

Not every process in the Jiffy Lube business should be as mechanically systematic as the changing of the oil. Some parts of the customer experience should be about the human customer.

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