May 26

What Needs to Happen First?

For a couple months I’ve been working with a young man in financial services. He’s married with one child. He’s tired and doesn’t smile as much as he’d like. He also drinks more than he knows is healthy and doesn’t get enough exercise. Know anyone like that? It’s easy to see that he has a big heart, even if it seems a bit weighed down by “practical concerns.” He’s tired of the ups and downs of commission-based work and hired me to help him “make more money.” He recently had two very rich months and wanted to avoid returning to his “average” monthly income.

Usually I don’t work with clients who approach me with making money as their main goal. But, our paths crossed in such a way I decided to relax my rule of thumb.

To date I have not kept him from returning to his average monthly income. So, I guess for the typical success assessor you’d call my work a failure. Except for this:

Today he said, “You know, it’s funny. I hired you to help me make more money and what I’ve gotten is healthier and more spiritual.”

I immediately interpreted that as a compliment. I felt like I’d affected him near the core of his life. He didn’t mean it as a compliment, per se. Then I felt worried that the primary goal was not reached and that made me a failure in his eyes. But, he didn’t mean that either. When I inquired what this realization meant for him, he said he was just observing without judging it as good or bad.

That is a peculiar response, I thought. Peculiar, indeed. Most of the businesspeople I meet are intensely judgmental and focused on achieving their stated goals. They either reach them or they don’t. I either helped them or I didn’t.

But, what happens when the goal is not the work to be attended to first? What happens when the goal is a by-product of other decisions, processes and systems? What happens when the primary goal - the thing the client presents the coach with - is not what needs attention and care first? What then? What happens when a goal is not getting nearer despite ongoing conversations about prospecting, managing employees, time blocking and all that jazz? What’s the issue when what is on the list of things that can help him make the money he wants keeps going undone?

The answer is simple; something is off kilter in another area of his life. And that’s what we have spent the last month and half on. Where his motivation comes from. External motivators (like money, by the way) are not enough to keep him focused and happy. His motivation flows from someplace else - spirituality. But, until now, his spiritual practices and food and drink intake have been separate in his mind from what he achieves at work. But, for this client, that line of thinking is like saying that smoking in one section of a plane has no effect on the others.

So, this terrific guy, this father, husband, friend and professional is dismantling the dam that blocks the flow of his intrinsic motivation to perform at a high level, by attending to areas not commonly associated with business. Money is still an important goal, but he’s coming to see it as a way of measuring how well he serves his clients, how well he relates with them, understands their financial dilemmas, hopes, needs, desires and fears, solves their problems and helps them feel safe, confident and secure about their futures, by way of his company’s products.

If you are considering me to help you accelerate your success, I hope you can hear what I’m saying; I want you to be as financially prosperous and materially successful as you dream about. Six figures. Seven, whatever you want. I do. I also want you to be healthy and spiritually connected - in such a way that both infuse you with energy and inspire you during every waking moment at work. That’s what I want for you. If you want to look at those core dimensions of success I say, Let’s go. We’ve got work to do.

If you find yourself rather fixated on the numbers to the exclusion of the other two areas, remember that figures are lagging indicators of what’s really going on. Look at your problems holistically. Look all around, not just at the scoreboard. The numbers tell you that there’s a problem. They don’t necessarily tell you what is the problem. Take a look at what’s powering the scoreboard.

I wish you tremendous success and deep fulfillment.

Peace Out.

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