13 July 2005 |
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 The Antidote is Community I have been mulling over an idea since the attacks in London last week. I have been slow to share my thoughts about how terrorism affects us because it could be misconstrued for band-wagon-jumping. There is the added difficulty of writing about the bombings without evoking such images of the incidents in your minds that I lose your attention, or contribute to your suffering. Alas, in any attempt to share ideas not everything can be controlled. Sometimes all I need to know is the intention is good - and then I can listen openly. So, with that 'round-the-houses preamble, here is my idea: The antidote to terrorism is community. 
It is a simple idea. In the dozen or so conversations I have had about this, no one has objected. A few have said the antidote to terrorism is education. True enough. But, that idea takes me into a realm where I feel powerless. What can I do to educate people who perpetrate terror? Besides, I am not talking about changing terrorists. That is way beyond my ability to create something powerful. Plus, that angle is about getting someone else to change, and I am not about that. No; I am talking about how terrorism can change me – and perhaps you – for the good. I’m talking about rising out of adversity, strong and connected. I am talking about making the life you lead, in your small sphere of influence better, in spite of – or even as a result of – this horrible event. I have friends in the UK, a couple of them still in London. The others have long ago ended London-living to claim a verdant patch of quiet ground “in the country.” Thankfully they are all safe. I spent the initial few minutes after the news broke fact-gathering. What happened? Where did it happen? Is there more to come? Where is everyone I know? Are they okay? As soon as my attention turned to the last two questions, where are my friends and are they safe, I immediately felt better. Naturally, there was a small chance someone I love was hurt. As soon as I learned they were safe, I felt closer to them. It was as if I could feel us literally near one another. It felt good, like a bear hug. Then I began to wonder, this feeling of connection that has me immediately feeling stronger, might this be the antidote to terrorism? I emailed and talked with my friends a few days after the bombings. Mostly we cut each other up the way we do. We spent almost no time talking about what happened, who was responsible or even who was where when it did. We invested much of our time talking together about what is happening in our lives. There was a bit about the bombers’ values being counter to our own, as if that needed saying. We talked about how we missed each other. We talked about the shop. We talked about a new job. We talked about a son. We talked about getting my room ready for when I visit during the Olympics. We remembered how much we enjoyed Christmas ’03 – hanging out and talking for hours at the pub. We remembered staying out until four a.m. on New Year’s Eve and wanting to sleep until Easter to make up for it. Yeah, we remembered the silly stuff – the stuff that glues our hearts together. Had I been in England, we surely would have gotten together. We would have poked fun at each other and sipped beer and reminisced about all the other times we poked fun, plotted our weekends together and sipped beer at a pub someplace. Without literally saying what we value most in one another, we would have said it with belly laughs, deep listening and easily springing off each other’s ideas to the next one, until our appetites for each other were temporarily sated. In any case, even via phone, we left our exchanges edified when someone somewhere had intended we would be weakened.  I do not imagine the people who detonate bombs think much about me and my friends. I do not imagine they think they are harming their cause by killing people. I think the outcome they cannot imagine, perhaps the one if imagined would drive them mad, is the one that will ultimately make their strategy useless; we came together, renewed our bonds, reminded each other of what is important and empowered each other to keep going. Our circle, our community is now stronger. Yeah, in the lives of ordinary people, I think the response to the pain terrorists inflict will be their undoing. Not in a flashy political way. Rather in an everyday-lives sort of way. This sort of victory is quiet, imperceptible to an outside eye, and deep. What happened in London was terrible. And, my friends and I discovered an upside quite unintended; we are in a stronger web, a stronger community, together. And we are enlivened by that. back to top |
