June, 2005 |
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 Addicted to Alligators Last week was a week of cancellations. Two clients cancelled appointments just seconds before I was to drive to their offices. One said he was "up to his eyes in alligators." The other cited writing proposals for important prospects. He just could not afford the time to meet. A businessman who was referred to me emailed to cancel the appointment we set a week earlier. He said something suddenly came up and he would not be able to reschedule for at least a couple weeks. Something unexpected popped up, and apparently it will take fourteen days to handle. I bet it will be more. 
A businesswoman I talked with for two hours at a party recently said there was no time in the next two months to talk further, in spite of her “really wanting to meet.” She does not have one single hour in the next 60 days. There is just not enough time. I'm sparing you the back-stories. You can trust when I say, first, that I totally support these businesspeople in accomplishing all their important work – and the things that “caused” their cancellations are important. It’s just that the situations of being up to their eyes in alligators are recurring – it doesn’t change - and that is a problem. I think if you asked these professionals if they were avoiding doing something about it, two would say that they know they need to change something. The third would tell you there is no way to change anything and she’d have to run because she’s got a million things to do. The way I professionally see it, each person is avoiding doing the work that would liberate them from the cycles of exhaustion they are in. Why are they avoiding doing the work? Well, duh! They're exhausted, of course. And overworked. And in a cycle that is inherently hard to break free of. They are in a sort of workload riptide. And as with a riptide, the way out of it is counterintuitive; act in a direction that seems like the wrong thing to do. Swim against your habits and instincts. In each of these cases, their instincts are telling them to wrestle the alligators – to paddle like hell, increase the output, work harder, longer hours – press on, effectiveness be damned!  But, I think the way out is to look at the way they structure their work. As counter-intuitive as it may seem, the way out is to stop doing what they’re doing. Rise above and think strategically. Generals do not hang out in trenches. Hurt by Habits These folks are held back by their habits. Their habits keep them busy. Their habits have them flying around putting our fires (many of which they helped create) and feeling heroic about it. I'm not throwing stones here; I know this from personal as much as professional experience. Being overwhelmed is exciting. It's satisfying. We are moving a lot and using a lot of energy so we must be doing good things. The pulsing vibe feels good — even if it feels bad. And that brings us to the real reason they don't do the work to break these habits: They like them. They do not really want to change. In two of the instances I mentioned, the person said they really wanted to get things straightened out. But, I’m not convinced yet. In a rather humorous swirl of logic, two said they had so many things going on that they wanted to clear some of them before we met. What are the chances that actually happens? Let me say it plainly; that is silly - like cleaning your house before the maid comes. For these folks, their situations are made worse because the window dressing is a form of not telling the truth. Sure, they are busy. Of course they're busy! They set things up to be crazy busy. But, the kind of busy-ness they are in is more a frothy, frenetic busy-ness, not the kind that leads to smartly directed thinking and behavior that satisfies staff, customers, suppliers and themselves. No, their kind of busy-ness exhausts everyone involved. Their form of business is dramatic and on the edge. Failure is a possibility – always. My - What a Nice Cape You Have! Now, I'm not a psychologist and I do not mean to sound shrill, but, it seems these folks are in a love affair with frenzy. They are addicted to alligators. Addiction - that's a strong word, isn't it? Yes, it is, and I see it every day. Business owners, executives, Realtors, managers, individual employees - all addicted to frenzy. Addicted to a sort of "my world is almost crumbling around me" story in which they are the hero, suffering gallantly, collecting their bruises and still standing at the end of the harrowing and much-too-long work day, returning home exhausted and ready to do it again tomorrow. Can you hear the trumpets blaring? Now, let me tell you boldly, maybe as boldly as I've ever said anything, because sometimes I say things too softly - you do NOT do your best work in that state. You are NOT more creative that way. You do NOT get it all done.  You do NOT enhance your relationships. Your business is NOT stronger or more capable for the constantly strained efforts. You are NOT at your best. Period. Like any substance and behavior addiction, being constantly "up to your eyes in alligators" has its payoffs. The payoff is what you are going for. But, let's not kid ourselves; addictions have their costs, too. This subject is too long for this newsletter - and I'm not going to try to make you comfortable with a short list of what you can do to break the cycle if you exhibit these behaviors yourself. Why? Because if this shoe fits you, you must first realize that it fits you - and that you are purposefully putting it on. Realize you are constructing these situations, these constant states of alert in your business and in your life because you like them. That does not mean they are good for you; not all love affairs are. But that's logic and it's too soon for logic. Addiction to frenzy and love affairs with alligator wrestling is emotional – and the payoffs are chemical. You know you're deciding to work and live that way because you like it, even though it is hurting you. Freedom…If You Want It SO! Let's make an exploration of this. For starters, just list all the payoffs you get from being constantly "up to your eyes in alligators." What do you get out of it? Come on. What - do - you - like - about - constantly - fighting - fires? What is the kick you get out of being the guy solving everyone's problems? What is truly satisfying about the chaotic way your days and weeks go? What is in it for you?  One hint: You feel heroic. Activity makes you feel like you’re in charge. In spite of it burning you out, you get enjoyment from being the go-to guy, the heroine with all the answers. It's alright; everyone gets a payoff from everything they do. We're just looking to learn what yours are. I bet you there are a dozen. Answer those questions – find all dozen of your payoffs. The answers will tell you about why you like alligators so much. From there, call me so we can look at what you discovered. Who knows — maybe you’d like to take another step forward? 619-688-1202 David@ActivatePotential.com back to top |
