January, 2006 |
 |
| This message is being sent to you because you either signed up via the Activate Potential website or you are a contact of David Facer. If you do not want to receive these educational emails in the future, please unsubscribe. |
|
 Happy New Year - Now Go Be Amazing! Ah, yes, the time of the New Year's Resolution. That cocktail party one-liner of intention whose life span is about equal to that of the ice cubes in your drink. A lot has been and apparently is being written about our annual resolutions. Too darn much, if you ask me. Now, I'm all for self-improvement, of course. I make my living from it. BUT, I'm so incredibly tired of the annual rite of witnessing people set their resolutions and no less than a week or so later set right back down into the comfort of their habits, molded to their lives like an unsupportive sofa cushion sat on for the same five hours each day for ten years running. Making a resolution is easy; changing a life is much more work. Doing It Right "The keys to making a successful resolution are a person's confidence that he or she can make the behavior change and the commitment to making that change," says University of Washington psychology researcher, Elizabeth Miller. In addition, “…resolutions are a process, not one-time efforts... Even if people are to be successful, they need to follow-up on their behavior over the years," says Miller. Now that makes sense. To make a resolution a way of life - and that's the only thing I'm interested in - you must understand you are in a process of improvement. There are no magic pills. You can't twitch your nose and make it all efficient and effective and nice. You must develop skill in the given area (this applies equally to diet and smoking and being a more loving parent, or a more potent contributor at work.) Most of all, there is follow-up, and follow-through. Well, duh. If you hold a child's mentality that making a lasting improvement will be easy, don't set the intention at all. You will only quit it after a week or a month or two and be comfortably where you began, except older and with less credibility. You will probably also feel bad about yourself that you set a resolution and didn't follow through. So, save yourself the anxiety and admit now that you're really not interested in that idea becoming lasting improvement. It's only the seduction of a resolution quickie and having something to say when someone asks if you made a New Year's Resolution that you dig. I tell you what, though, I'd give you high marks for honesty if you said, "You know, I really don't have one. I'm really not that interested in making any significant changes this year." You go! Put it out there. Truth is, you'll have said something people are scared to say. For those of you as bold on the other side of the coin... Examples of Strong Resolutions ...set yourself up for success. State your resolution as an outcome that will be experienced over time as the result of a new, powerful process. And, by all means, do not state your resolution as a thing that will be gotten. It works better as a state of being and behaving that will be maintained over time. So, no more, "I will lose 50 pounds." It must be, "I will reach a weight of 185 by the end of the year by eating less food, eating higher quality food, including more fruits, veggies, fewer processed and sugary sweet foods, and I will maintain these improved eating habits for the next five years. I will learn about maintaining a healthy weight by consulting experts and reading on the subject. And when I celebrate my success, I will do so with behaviors that keep me on the path. My celebrations will be healthy, too." Then develop a simple system for organizing and recording your progress. If you're going for something like, "I will be more of a team player this year," Think in terms of, "I will transform myself into a supportive, creative and hard-working contributor to my team by being quick to help someone complete a task or project, being generous and genuine in my feedback and ideas, and producing work of the utmost quality, meeting all agreed targets. I will self-teach and learn from expert others in these important areas. I expect the results of this transformation will be obvious to my teammates. Even if it isn't, I'll keep it up because it's a better way to be, as a leader, as a man/woman, as a parent, friend and spouse, period." If you're ready to do your New Year's Resolution at that level, I think you have a high probability of success - which is, after all - my New Year's wish for you. Now, go out there and be amazing. back to top |
