Death by Apostrophe

This morning, at a weekly business development meeting, my friend and business writer, Adrienne Moch (www.AdrienneMoch.com) poked at me for a spelling and punctuation error in my previous post (Nice to Meet You. Got a Card?)

Now, Adrienne and I have a good relationship. I like her. I dine occasionally on her surprisingly good Italian cooking. We cheer on the San Diego Gulls semi-pro hockey team together. She's researching and writing Activate Potential client case studies that will be published on this site. She recorded the HBO special on the incredible 1985 NCAA National Championship game in which my Villanova Wildcats played the perfect game (79+% field goal percentage) to dethrone reigning national champions and wild favorites, Georgetown (what the heck are) Hoyas. So, I took her poking in good humor - then raced home to fix the mistakes, knowing strangers would be less forgiving.

I drew a BIG lesson from the experience. Adrienne's first attention went to the errors in my spelling and punctuation - NOT to the message of the post. This is important. I was reminded that the smallest things, the smallest errors can dethrone an otherwise effective effort. Like small nails in much larger tires, it's (see Adrienne - I used the correct form!) often the tiny things that flatten great works.

I also notice that, just like verbal communication, what I said was trumped by how I said it. So, in the spirit of learning QUICKLY (!) from mistakes...

What small upgrades do you need to make to your professional efforts so the attention of your clients and prospects is on the BIG stuff, like the specifics of how you want to help them succeed, rather than some gaff in your presentation? What little blemishes are you letting distract them from the greater truths of what you seek to do for them?

Thanks, Adrienne, for reminding me to slow down and pay extra special attention to the tiniest of detales...er...details.

Nice Talking With You. Got a Card?

Last night I attended a reception at The University Club in San Diego, where I'm a member. The gig was for the Young Executive Society, which offers programs and parties for its young (at heart) members. 34 stories above the city with views of the harbor, the mountains and Mexico, we talked and networked ourselves hoarse. After, we retired to the bar and had some water and milk.

In all, my two colleagues and I spent three hours at the event. I collected seven business cards. As is my custom, today I sent physical thank you cards to each person I met.

I fully expected that of the seven cards I gave out, precisely none of them would be used for anything meaningful. I say half-happy, it didn't turn out that way; I got two emails.

It is customary in America to ask for a business card after you've been speaking with someone for a while, though I don't know why that is. In my experience the vast minority of people will ever pick up the phone or send a physical note or letter as a result. It's nice to get an email, but not as nice as getting a card in the good old US Mail.

I think physical cards and letters are a more sophisticated way of advancing our relationships. And isn't that what we're trying to do at these events; discover genuine interest and do something meaningful, or better yet - meaning-full - for the evolution of all involved? Or are we just peddling stuff?

As if on a director's cue, about an hour ago, I received an email from two of the people with whom I exchanged business cards. (I rarely ask for someone's card - if only because eventually the standard request will seek mine. I prefer to invite people to coffee and, if asking for the card at all, use the business card as a way to set-up the meeting via a phone call.) The email said the party was fun and we should meet up sometime soon.

Call me old fashioned, or out of touch with how business is advanced these days, but I think email is the bottom of the marketing communication barrel, sharing space with Realtor postcards and the Albertson's weekly flyers. I'm not telling stories out of school here. I tell my Realtor clients what I think of the industry standard (a.k.a. un-special, un-targeted and thoroughly un-elevating) postcard campaigns.

The main problem with using email to advance a nascent relationship is that it, like most connections made at networking events, is ephemeral. Email stays fresh as long as bread left out overnight.

Plus, doesn't everyone know how long it takes to "write" a two sentence email? It requires a fraction of the time (i.e. energetic effort) as writing a paper note. That efficiency serves the sender, but aren't thank you notes supposed to serve their recipients foremost? Fact is, new relationship seeds require higher quality care than is given by email.

Further, email is two dimensional, leaving only the visually stimulated the slightest chance of being moved by it. Cards and physical letters, by contrast, are three dimensional; they engage us on a number of levels; visual, olfactory (some paper has a really nice aroma), kinesthetic in that we touch it and literally feel it, and auditory as we hear our finger rip the envelope open by sliding a finger under the saliva-sealed flap. Shoot, if you really evaluate it, sealing an envelope with a lick of the flap is like impriting the card with your DNA. Also, cards bend. We turn them over to see if anything is written on the other side. We open them wondering if something will fall out. In all, we have a multilayered experience that is not possible with email.

HINTS: If you want to transcend the limitations of email - and still use it - then here's my advice:

1. Say something that tells me you've done more than kick off a three-second-effort cybernote. (It's the rare Buddha that doesn't want to know he's a little special.)

2. Say something that tells me why you enjoyed meeting me. What about our conversation was most interesting to you?

3. Tell me what about the night you enjoyed most? What continues to stick with you hours after the event ended.

This stuff needn't be about me per se, but it should be about the space and time we shared and what happened in them.

In short, the old fashioned thank you card is a multisensory and multifaceted offering. We should exhume it from the grave of old fashioned ways of relationship and business building. When we do, we'll show people that we are truly grateful for having shared a path with them. We'll also prove we invested several minutes out of our busy day to communicate something meaning-full; our gratitude for having encountered them.

Hi. Nice talking with you. Got a card?

Yeah. Yeah, I do. Can I send it to you in the mail?

Desert Blooms

More rare than a blue moon is the Anza-Borrego Desert (the largest park in contiguous United States) in full bloom. If you have yet to see, feel, smell and hear it in your life, make the trip this spring - or like NOW, because desert flowers don't last long.

For three days and three nights last week my friend Claire, a shaman and acupuncturist and I sat, walked, talked and silenced in the full regalia of the flowering desert. It was magnificent.

Those of you who subscribe to my monthly BIG Ideas Newsletter will get a full-length article on the wisdom available to us from deep experiences in nature. To whet your appetites, here is a snippet.

I learned to discern the differences between the sound of a fly and that of a bee.

When swallows mate, one of them is very loud. I wonder which one it is.

I was reminded that great abundance often follows great rain. Remember that rain in the desert can be a tumultuous event.

I learned that silence can be very loud; one can actually hear it.

A three and a half inch caterpillar can eat the leaves off a good size plant in about an hour.

Our obsession with focus leads us to miss a great deal of beauty, some of it very subtle.

Humans are fragile creatures outside their highly controlled environments.

The desert teaches humility - sometimes gently, sometimes by force.

More to come...

Playing Your Heart Out

Watching the NCAA tournament first round games, I remembered the exhilaration and elation I felt in 1985 when my alma mater's team, the Villanova Wildcats, played their way to the national championship - against the odds. Listen carefully and imagine what you're working on in your life, your career and your business.

'Nova was given about a 1:1000 chance of winning the national title. One in a thousand! In this year's tournament, the bottom-seeded team, Fairleigh Dickinson, is given a 0% chance of winning the tournament. Zero. And yet they play...against the odds.

The top-rated team, Illinois, is given a 33% chance of winning. The favorite has a 33% chance. One in three! That is to say, the odds-makers give them a 2:1 shot of losing before they could hoist the national championship trophy over their heads. Two in three against. And yet they play...against the odds.

In fact, not only do they play, they play their hearts out. They believe in themselves and play their hearts out, in the face, sometimes, of absolute disbelief from others, as was the case for Fairleigh Dickinson...and they play their hearts out. They know the odds of winning it all are slim. In every single case, including that of the favorite to win it all, the odds against their crowning are big. And yet they play - with all their hearts...against the odds.

These "kids" don't say, "Oh, man...I wonder if it's worth it because the odds against my winning are so small. No one believes in us, so maybe we shouldn't even try." They go out, marshalling all their resources, their skill, their positive emotions, their fans and their dreams and give it all they've got. They play their hearts out, in the face of overwhelming odds.

It's important to note that, in the face of big obstacles and huge challenges, they focus on what is right in front of them, the very next game. They don't look too far down the road.

Young men oh young men, what wondrous wisdom flows from you. Of course, you all have strong coaches, too (shameless and totally relevant plug. What are YOU waiting for?)

May all of us in business and those in other fields, such as education and ministry, pay close attention to these "kids." They are teachers of the highest order.

Hey YOU! Are YOU playing your heart out?

Oh, to Plan

I continue to marvel at how many businessmen and businesswomen have no clear and bold plans for creating what they want, much less running what they have. It's odd, since we plan in so many areas of our lives. We plan vacations. We plan holiday events months in advance. We plan our educations. We plan to have kids. We plan for economic retirement. How few of us to plan for running our businesses.

I also notice how funnily people look at me when I ask them if they have a plan for the next five years of their lives, or ten. The very question makes me peculiar to them, if not annoying. This is equally true for corporate employees and entrepreneurs.

In a corporation, it is common for "the plan" to be driven mainly what the company needs and wants. Strictly speaking, responding to what the company wants is a plan - though it begs a BIG question; What is the likelihood I get what I want when I'm constantly (and maybe even, only)responding to what the company wants?

Entrepreneurs are in a similar boat. While the company may be mine, without a well-drawn up road map, goodness (or mediocrity) knows where I'll end up.

Whichever case, corporate employee or company-owning entrepreneur, deciding what I want, stepping toward it purposefully and boldly, plus telling everyone I know where I'm heading are crucially important, unignorable steps to creating what I really want. The probability of my success and fulfillment is very low otherwise.

Lest I go too far with this idea, which has been around far longer than me and my clients, here's an old-timer's two-liner on the subject:

Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind. - Seneca, the Roman playwright, philosopher and orator.

Post Script - at the risk of augmenting fair Seneca, when a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the wrong one either.