I Wish I Could...

A long-time client wrote today about the hills she walks of undulating fear and exhilaration. She is undertaking the sort of life-altering change of direction books are written about; an educator of 20 years is moving to the coast to be with the sea, marine mammals and a lifestyle attuned with her heart.

Will she find work? Will it go smoothly? What about money? Will her love of marine mammals be satisfied only by a hobby there, or can that be part of earning a living, too? Why so much up and down - roller-coastering between trepidation and wide-eyed-get-me-there-now anticipation?

Dear Courageous Client Teacher Student Explorer,

I wish I could answer these questions with a certainty that would put you at peace. Alas, I am powerless against the journey of life. Indeed, I walk it, ride it, get caught by it and frolic with it, as you do.

Your journey is the one for you. Are you being capricious? You know the answer to that, I think. Is this the right thing to invigorate a life you had grown unfulfilled by? The answer must be yours, mined by and from you, down deep. The walking is a solo endeavor. Together we have made a map. It is not the territory, though. You must map that - as Lewis and Clark did - one paddle, step, swatted mosquito, hunted meal at a time. I can but continue to guide you in a wise exploration of the questions...

To that end, I write for you here - and the many who entertain such seemingly fanciful thoughts in their inner most, hungry, locked-tight hearts - the words to a song I listen to when I need to know walking my road through life is what I'm supposed to do. To what ends? I can hardly know. I can but dream, intend, commit, plan, venture, learn, adjust and repeat.

Ulysses taught us this. So did The Three Little Pigs. Hans Christian Andersen knew. So did Buddha, Christ, Mohammed and more Grandmothers than could be named.

The speaker in the song is a composite of many forces and guides, I think. It is not offered here to be the literal voice of me to you. These are, though...Walk deliberate steps. Think deliberately. Act wisely. Learn loads. Adjust. Repeat.

Good For You
I've spent my life watching sky and sea change colour
Hypnotised by the beauty of it all,
And you ask me why I'm singing
Well it is good for me,
It can be good for you;

I've hoarded all experiences I've had,
Written down all memories on a train,
And you ask me where I'm headed,
It can be good for you,
And it's been good for me;

I've seen a face in a thousand nights of dreaming
It's been calling me to take up on the road,
And I'll go I will I'll keep upon believing
'Cos it is good for me,
It can be good for you.

I've begged my family to take me,
Asked them to see my point of view,
And I will - I will stand my ground and face you
'Cos you are good for me,
I can be good for you;

I've seen a thousand nights of ardour,
Got frozen by the winter of my soul,
But I am not afraid of sorrow,
'Cos it's been good for me,
It can be good for you;

I've woken to the sound of sweet dawn music,
Where a hundred thousands songs are sung,
While the earth and ocean changes -
Four thousand million into one.

Song lyrics are Copyright Hothouse Flowers 1993

Wonka Wisdom

For everyone rushed off their feet today, frolick around this:

A little nonsense now and then,
Relished by the wisest men.

~ Mr. W. Wonka
Founder and President
Wonka Candy Company

Preparing is Golden

I met with a business owner recently to get acquainted and learn about each other's business.

In preparation for the meeting, I researched her company. I read the company website. I talked with our mutual friend who knows her well. Five days before our meeting I sent an email message asking that she read three specific pages on my website. I arrived at the meeting early so I could get a feel for the place.

My Dog Ate My Homework
During our talk in her office, I asked if she read my website. She said with mild discomfort, "I took a quick look." A quick probe of what she read and it was clear the quick look was more like glancing at a magazine cover. Suddenly, I was a bit wary, because in my world, lack of preparation for a meeting is a relationship foul.

Now, I admit I'm a bit hard-nosed when it comes to excuses. The comment that she was too busy and had been "rushing around like a crazywoman" fell on concrete ears. We're all busy. As I have said in these pages many times, I don't know any working professionals who aren't. It's time to stop using that as an excuse, like a kid whose dog ate her homework. The issue is less that she was busy than she didn't place high value on being prepared.

Show Up BIG
Preparing for a meeting is, at the least, practical; it helps move the dialogue along faster. We don't have to start on the first rung of the ladder. We can start on rung two or three, but only if both parties participate with that intent.

Preparing is more than just practical. It also shows respect. When deep respect is present, great things can happen. When it's not, well...relationship building is much more difficult.

I say, show up BIG or don't show up. Don't take a meeting you don't have time or desire to prepare for. Just say, "You know, I can't give this high enough priority to show you the proper level of attention right now. Let's try again in a month."

Oh, the Places You Will Go
What will you be saying if you take this approach? First, you will say the work on your plate is high priority and you always honor your priorities. You'll tell me that you're about quality and not just quantity. You'll be telling me you understand boundaries, so when I share with you the types of clients I work with, you will only refer those types of professionals. And you'll respect me when I say I can't meet on a certain day; you'll understand my commitment to what's already on my plate. You'll demonstrate, and not just talk about, caring about the clients and commitments you have. You'll show me how you focus and avoid distraction. You'll show me great respect. When we do meet, I'll know you are giving me the right level of attention.

There is only one way to slice it; preparing properly is golden. All else is tin.

Just Plain Fun

We're so serious all the time. Learning, studying, focusing, working, thinking, justifying, fixing, competing. Even our play is about competing and proving. Sometimes it's best to kick back and just smile - no agenda, no hooks, no proving anything.

I put the company name on my play vehicle - my very own Tonka truck. It makes me smile. Period.

Have a look: IMG_0686.JPG and IMG_0683.JPG. The pic will open in this window. To return to the written blog - use your Back Button.

Hey, not for nothing - what makes you just smile, period?

Avocados and Community

Today was a great day. My friend Linda and I spent the day at the Fallbrook, California, avocado festival, 54 miles north of downtown San Diego.

I keep a list of area small-town events I want to check out. Thing is - I have done very few of the things on the list. Usually a chore or work takes precedence over the extra curriculars.

This weekend was different. I set most of the time aside for new experiences. Saturday, I helped my friend, Claire, move from the beach to the mountains where she now owns her first home. Today - avocados.

It was no small thing not to work this weekend. Anyone who thinks the self-employed entrepreneur reports to no one and can do what he wants is mistaken. The business is like a puppy; I love it and it requires constant attention. Nonetheless, this weekend the puppy was with a neighbor, so to speak.

Activities planned around the Avocado included the Avocado 500, a model car building event and race using avocados as vehicles. Other activities included a packing house tour of Del Rey Avocado Company and an Antique Aircraft Show at Fallbrook Airpark.

One shop sold avocado fudge, another avocado ice cream. We tried the fudge (pretty good) and passed on the ice cream.

After walking the street fair, Linda took me to one of her favorite organic markets where we ate lunch. I'd heard her talk about the place. Now I can picture her shopping there.

Finally, I washed my Jeep in her driveway while she picked bags of oranges from her trees for me to eat at home.

All this may seem like meaningless detail, except it is not about the detail; it's about community.

It's easy to go with the flow - except it often goes to the same old places. My flow would not ordinarily take me to see award winning avocados. It would keep me reading, talking or typing for work. This weekend, I prioritized the avocado festival and hanging out with Linda high enough so I actually experienced them. Had I proceeded with my "normal" weekend, I'd have stayed in a community of one.

I allowed Linda to lead the way. Linda and her husband go to all these quirky local events. I just let her lead the way and eased into my new experience. In so doing, our community of two, a.k.a. our friendship, was again enriched with more shared experiences, ideas, laughs and food.

Linda donated some money to the Fallbrook fire department. Apparently they have a problem with their boots; they don't protect from burns well enough. I doubt they will remember her when they empty the fund raising boot tonight. Still, if only for the instant she dropped her dollars, they knew Linda was part of their caring community.

Next weekend Linda, her husband and I are off to the Encinitas street fair. Maybe I'll find a nice souvenir. Even if I don't, I'll go home feeling more connected and part of an expanding community. There are few better feelings than that.

CRaaaaZy Ideas on Company Values

Recently I replied to a blog entry at the Fast Company magazine website about ENRON and how the values of its leaders were central to the company's demise.

To stir the pot a little, and provoke some new thinking, I offered some CrAZy ideas on the subject of leaders and values.

I repeat them here for you now:

Looking at ENRON for evidence for what went wrong from a values perspective is like looking in Wonka's factory for a bar of chocolate. I find it kinda boring anymore. Besides, such focus only plays into our culture's habit of watching the flashy and listening to the loud.

If you want to find sparkling examples of how companies are, not can be, but are built on values that evolve not just the wallets but the spirits of everyone involved, start looking at micro-businesses.

It may not play well for a FC reader; they want to know how to scale organizations. I realize that. But, the little guys have more to say about what is right; the big guys tend to focus too much on what works. They are not, as we know, inherently synonymous.

As we leaders grapple with coalescing a group of values to guide our organizations, let us first and foremost publicly declare, in writing and voice, our commitments to much more than making the numbers; let us commit to the high road only.

Also, we must demand that outsiders rigorously hold us to our high standards. The pressure in business is to the low road. Small business or large, make life easier for yourself by a public commitment; it will be impossible to slide and hide.

Then, let's urge the inclusion of a few values that hardly ever make the list. Why add things like Shame, Greed, Fear and Poverty? To shake up automatic thinking and roll-your-eyes platitudes about teamwork and open communication (among many others). Read on. Enjoy some craziness.

Shame - we value shame when someone repeatedly transgresses against what they and we have collectively chosen to be our guiding principles.

Forgiveness - we value forgiveness because we know that the high road is a hard road. Everyone falls down once in a while. We lift each other up, forgive, remind, recommit and move forward.

Fear - we value fear as a potent reminder of the imminent consequences likely to befall us if we remain on an uninspired path.

Poverty - we value poverty, or the imposition of financial hardship (loss of pay, loss of job) as a necessary result of wonton disregard for our high-minded and high-spirited system. It's like being expelled from school for breaking the honor code by cheating- quite fair, quite right.

Greed - we value greed because it keeps us looking at new places where we can serve. We want to serve X number of people and make Y amount of money. These things are good. They turn bad when we harm people and fail to think, talk and act as the most evolved businesspeople - correction - PEOPLE who ever lived. Should greed be misinterpreted that way, please refer to the first item on this list.

Okay, if those ideas are too weird, rent three year's worth of The Waltons. Pay special attention to the grandmother. No nonsense. No noise. No silly language. Just straightforward, clean ethics.

How's that for CrAZy thinking?

Follow this link to read the original article.

http://blog.fastcompany.com/archives/2005/04/12/valuable_advice.html

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At your service...

Get the Deal or Client for Life?

In the past few years, I've refinanced my mortgage three times - with three different people. The first two brokers did not get my subsequent business. Nor will the third guy when I refi this month. Why? Because, they all seemed a bit like traveling salesmen...just passing through.

What struck me about the brokers was how transactional they were. Every one talked interest rates, stated income or W-2, fixed or variable and on and on. They were fixated on technical knowledge. Thing is though, what each said about rates and the other stuff convinced me they were like all the rest. in the mortgage business, it's very difficult to differentiate yourself on technical knowledge. Why? Because most clients don't know enough to value every morsel of knowledge you have. You all sound the same after a (very short) while.

You can, however, distinguish yourself in a crowded market by going beyond the details and transcending the transaction. It will help to permanently learn that except for rare cases, your technical knowledge about mortgages will not set you apart from the other mortgage folks. In a licensed profession, technical knowledge is ordinary. It is the start line, not the finish line. Why then do so many mortgage (and real estate) professionals spend almost all their time with a client talking minutia?

In my experience as a professional coach of salespeople and entrepreneurs, the answer is simple: too many want transactions now, not clients for life. When I talk with brokers and agents about this stuff, they say something like, "But there's not time for that. Things move too fast in this business." But, the reality of selling flies in the face of that thinking; it takes a lot less effort, money and time to sell an existing customer new products than find a prospect and convert them into a client.

If you want to stand out from your competitors, take the time to get to know your clients really well. Go beyond the ordinary; demonstrate you are about a lot more than selling a product. Find out about their lives, dreams, fears, kids, jobs and financial needs. Find out who their financial planner is and strategize the optimal product. Be part of the big picture, not just today's deal. Know their birthday so you can send a card or small gift. Make sure NOT to include your business card. Birthday gifts are about them, NOT you. Just sign the card with your name. They will know who you are - in the best ways possible.

You will become special to your prospects and clients when they believe they are special to you. Now THAT is a great way to sell more mortgages.

What Do You Want?

During a meeting with a very successful client today, I overheard myself ask perhaps the most potent question I have ever posed.

The question followed fifteen minutes of detail about his colleague's ethical shortcomings. The result for my client was an almost paralyzing sense of frustration.

The question I asked made no assumptions. It pushed in no direction. It pulled no strings. It flew, arrowlike, straight to the heart of desire.

"Do you want to stop being frustrated?" I asked.

I used to assume people want to stop being angry, betrayed, afraid, right, alone, frustrated, overworked, stressed-out, lied to, undervalued, confused. Despite investing substantial money to work with me, this is not always the case.

"I'm not sure," he said.

I thought, ah...now we can get somewhere. Why? Because, to his credit, he told the truth...and that is the only place from which success is built - the only place.

How about you? What do you want?