Get Real

A vice-president client we'll call, Joe, recently presented to a group of peers and more senior executives. Half way through the material he lost his place. So, he stood there awkwardly for twenty seconds or so and tried to remember what he was supposed to say next. He cleared his throat, shuffled some papers and paced a few steps before he remembered and got him back on track.

Joe asked me what he could or should have done to avoid getting off track. I offered a few simple ideas about sticking to the core material and not getting into side-bar subjects.

A far bigger issue, though, was how Joe felt during those 20 seconds, and for four days afterward. Joe felt self-conscious, embarrassed and insecure. Why? Because "that is not supposed to happen and it looks bad."

Phooey! Rubbish! Balderdash! Losing one's train of thought happens to everyone. Every single person in Joe's audience has experienced precisely the same thing sometime in the past. I told Joe that rather than try to cover it up in the future he could say something like, "I'm having a presentation nightmare right now. I just lost my train of thought. Can someone help us get back on track?" Then wait for a kind soul to jump in. Someone always does.

Trying to cover it up is like putting Clearasil on a black eye. Everyone knows what's going on. And, it doesn't work. I think we need to be more real with one another. Say what is happening in the moment. Ask for help. Thank the person who helped. Move on.

It takes a lot of energy to try to cover up small mistakes (or big ones, for that matter.) Why not just admit you lost your place or made a mistake, make your apologies, ask for help, thank someone for it and move on?

Seems to me that's the path of positive energy, emotions and thinking. And those three things are much better for productivity than embarassment, shame and trying to save face.

Getting real is the fast way to get back on track.

Roger Federer and Executive Learning

In about an hour I will sit down to watch the US Open tennis final between Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic. More than watching the tennis, per se, the match takes my mind to thought about learning. For me, it's a chance to witness two accomplished professionals challenge themselves and each other to perform at the tippy top of their skill range, manage their energy in the face of intense, prolonged requirements and a lot of external distraction, and continually rise and respond to every challenge thrown at them.

US Open tennis is a fantasy for me. I am a twice-a-year hacker who can't seem to do more than scatter balls around the court in random patterns no matter where I intend them to go. So, I don't watch tennis for tips on playing tennis. I watch it and think about where in a domain that matters to me like coaching business executives (for you, perhaps, managing a team, or changing some behavior that is causing problems for you and others) can I witness excellence in real time and learn from it on the spot?

When I say learn I mean witness the tangible, real-world mature use of the right combination of skills such that progress is made toward desired results and that the way the person goes about trying to achieve results honors important values and is motivation-enhancing. Those are high standards for executive leadership.

What the US Open tennis pros show me is what can be achieved when natural interest and intelligence for an activity is combined with the relentless improvement of required skills over time. When I watch Federer hit a ball at an angle that my imagination couldn't not conjure moments before, I think about my clients. Who in their everyday work environments strikes just the right note in a meeting, expresses their ideas with just the right force, appreciates someone for effort despite falling short of the goal, fires someone and leaves them with their dignity. Who is relentless as an underdog against big odds? Who are my clients watching and learning from? Who are their Federers?

When I watch a Federer opponent mishit shots throughout a match, I wonder who I, personally, watch make mistakes continually. (Sometimes it's me.) Who do I know who keeps going against the best in her field, persistently trying to make the big shots, over and over. Who do I know who is an expert at challenging himself to do more and better each and every day? Who is calm under pressure, wise in his use of energy and still immensely powerful? Who do I see frittering her energy away on harmful judgments of other people not yet fully realizing she is robbing herself of vital energy to do great things?

Do I learn from what I see? When I am Federer's fantasy opponent, what makes me keep doing things that are unproductive? What skills do I consciously (or unconsciously) use that enable me to land seemingly impossible shots against all apparent odds? Where am I insane, doing the same wasteful things over and over, expecting different results? And, when I finally realize I have been insane, what experts can I learn from academically and watch in person to help me develop new skills so I can get better, more productive and happier?

Yeah, the US Open is fun for thinking about skill development, execution, failure, persistence, insanity, competition, and mastery. These are big and worthwile subjects. I just hope it's a nice long match.