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| Tuesday, March 22, 2005 |
Wear your heart outside your chest, for Goodness Sake! Comments?
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Playing Your Heart Out
Watching the NCAA tournament first round games, I remembered the exhilaration and elation I felt in 1985 when my alma mater's team, the Villanova Wildcats, played their way to the national championship - against the odds.
'Nova was given about a 1:1000 chance of winning the national title. One in a thousand! In this year's tournament, the bottom-seeded team, Fairleigh Dickinson, is given a 0% chance of winning the tournament. Zero. And yet they play...against the odds.
The top-rated team, Illinois, is given a 33% chance of winning. The favorite has a 33% chance. One in three! That is to say, the odds-makers give them a 2:1 shot of losing before they could hoist the national championship trophy over their heads. Two in three against. And yet they play...against the odds.
In fact, not only do they play, they play their hearts out. They believe in themselves and play their hearts out, in the face, sometimes, of absolute disbelief from others, as was the case for Fairleigh Dickinson...and they play their hearts out. They know the odds of winning it all are slim. In every single case, including that of the favorite to win it all, the odds against their crowning are big. And yet they play - with all their hearts...against the odds.
These "kids" don't say, "Oh, man...I wonder if it's worth it because the odds against my winning are so small. No one believes in us, so maybe we shouldn't even try." They go out, marshalling all their resources, their skill, their positive emotions, their fans and their dreams and give it all they've got. They play their hearts out, in the face of overwhelming odds.
Note that they also don't look too far down the road. In the face of big obstacles and huge challenges, they focus on what is right in front of them, the next game. Young men oh young men, what wondrous wisdom flows from you. Of course, you all have strong coaches, too (shameless and totally relevant plug. What are YOU waiting for?)
May all of us in business and those in other fields, such as education and ministry, pay close attention to these "kids." They are teachers of the highest order.
Hey YOU! Are YOU playing your heart out?
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| Friday, March 18, 2005 |
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Oh, to Plan
I continue to marvel at how many businessmen and businesswomen have no clear and bold plan for creating what they desire, much less running what they have. We plan in so many areas of our lives. We plan vacations. We plan holiday events months in advance. We plan our educations. We plan to have kids. We plan for economic retirement. How few of us seem to plan for running our businesses.
I also notice how funnily people look at me when I ask them if they have a plan for the next five years of their lives, or ten. The very question makes me peculiar to them, if not annoying. This is especially true if they work in a corporation. It is common for "the plan" to be largely a combination of their hard work and the company's desires. Strictly speaking, that is a plan - that begs a BIG question, "Of what quality, and potential for joy and the fulfillment of your promise, a.k.a. success?"
I liken it to constantly being a rower in someone else's boat. Not everyone wants to be an entrepreneur, to be sure. Nor is everyone internally geared for such an adventure. And, to be fair, not every entrepreneurially-geared businessperson is right for the corporate environment. Still, deciding what I want, stepping toward it purposefully and boldly, plus telling everyone I know (even if they are my boss's boss's boss) is a primary step to getting into the boss's boss's boss's chair one day - or remaining a happy and potent individual contributor, if that's what I want.
Lest I go too far with this idea, which has been around far longer than me and my clients, here's an old-timer's one liner on the subject:
Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind. - Seneca, the Roman playwright, philosopher and orator.
Post Script - at the risk of augmenting fair Seneca, when a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the wrong one either.
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| Wednesday, March 16, 2005 |
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Imperfection Reframed
I wrote this poem a couple years ago while contemplating the American cultural value of perpetual youth and the incredible amount of money spent on plastic surgery and make up and myriad ways of hiding any and all hints that our bodies are aging. What a pity, for wisdom shines bright in shades of gray.
I wonder where else we see imperfection where instead we could find wisdom and insights that move us forward.
Imperfection Reframed
Why do we work so hard to erase the marks of life
As if youth has more than age to say?
In practice, it says too much. Ever noticed that?
Our brains are convoluted, the best severely so,
We know the value there, each nook and cranny a gift,
Why can't we see laugh lines as well?
When we encounter unique adventure, do we ride the flattest plain,
Do we walk the simplest shore?
When we ache to understand the terrain,
Do we need the novice traveler,
Or the wrinkled, wise mountain guide
Whose been one with the obstacled moraine?
We dull faces when we smooth them out,
Make bland the sauce that would in time to pith distill,
Eternal life was a curse, if you recall the tale.
Give in. Our lines are badges of the troughs and peaks we've seen,
And accumulated wisdom from many somewheres been,
So seen we teach those outside with a bright internal beam.
Allow supposed imperfections in the eyes to be reframed;
Let wisdom pour from ridges it costs us all too much when tamed.
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| Tuesday, March 15, 2005 |
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New(!)sletter for Clients
Hi Activate Potential Clients!
Yesterday you should have received the first of a NEW! client weekly email newsletter called, Extra Oomph!
I hope you enjoy the short and crisp format - three ideas to help you keep the momentum flowing.
I look forward to working with you all even more.
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| Friday, March 11, 2005 |
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Getting Vocal
COMING IN APRIL 2005 - New Audio CD!
I'll be reading Activate Potential's BIG Ideas articles, Daily Journal entries and other meaningful musings so you can have your daily dose of pith, rants and inspiration wherever you go.
Keep your eyes on the Programs and Resources pages in the coming weeks.
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| Wednesday, March 9, 2005 |
HeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiYA! Take that, Establishment! Comment Here.
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Naked Emperors
This quote from Dee Hock, of Visa International
On Degrees and Titles -
Never confuse training with schooling, schooling with knowledge, knowledge with understanding or understanding with wisdom. Never confuse degrees, titles or position with any of the three. The commonest thing in the world is people who have been taught more than they know, know more than they understand and understand more than they have the wisdom to use. Equally common are those who have titles grander than they are and power greater than they deserve. Make certain you are not among them.
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| Wednesday, March 2, 2005 |
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Postscript
For those of you who read the "Have a Look Through My Eyes" story, check out the postscript.
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| Wednesday, March 2, 2005 |
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Dr. Seuss Genius
If half of what I share with clients, if half of what we unearth from inside their high mountains of mental clutter, if half of the things they all know they should do but don't do was brought to them by their Grandmothers or Great Grandfathers, my clients would take it all in, roll their eyes (as they do when I say it) because it's so simple, listen and act in new ways a lot faster than they do.
Dr. Seuss would be 101 years old today. I read his stories and remember how simple and wonderful and easy to grasp are the biggest ideas in the world - and that the biggest ideas in the world can be broken down into bite-size small ones, perfect for digestion, if only we would to ingest them. I think it's not the big ideas we forget in our lives, it is the little ones, the little quartzite ideas; plentiful, pretty and potent - and ignored because we're searching for diamonds.
Lots of big problems have small solutions. Try simplifying your thinking rather than upsizing it. Try dialing it down rather than up - if you get my meaning. In boring, emotionless business language, it's called chunking down.
Grandma would tell you nothing is insurmountable, not even the mountain. Look down at your shoes, toward the terrain you're climbing, lean your body forward a bit, get your balance, shift your weight to one foot, lift the other one and take a step. Repeat.
For a more poetic and as-simple look at the Journey of life (of which business is a part,) pick up a copy of "Oh the Places You'll Go!" Dr. Seuss really was a genius. Think of him as your Grandpa, or as I called my Grandfather, Gramp. Sit in his lap. Let him teach you the story. Listen. Learn. Then take a fresh step. Repeat.
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| Tuesday, March 1, 2005 |
Unidentifiable plastic object recipient, beware! Comment Here.
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Have a Look Through My Eyes
At least try.
From the land of what not to do, I bring you the latest promotion (?) from Cingular Wireless.
Today, in the mail I received a "Rebate Card" from my cell phone company. (Strictly speaking they're my cell service provider, but we'll call them a cell phone company because they haven't figured out that they need to understand how I see them and work to change the way I see them - which is the entire point of this entry.)
So today's mailing, which I nearly tossed away without opening, saved for the fact I open all mailings from companies that can affect my credit rating, if only to grab the paper with my name and account number and promptly shred it.
The marketing copy in this whatever-to-call-it starts off with "It's Here! Your Rebate Card, Compliments of Cingular Wireless" (company name in all caps - in case I miss who they are.) What's funny (odd more than humorous) about this is the way they wrote, "It's here!" as if I was expecting it.
The card, which looks very much like a Visa card, bearing the Visa logo and all, is not (emphasis on not) a Visa card. Their extensive explanation on the front of the black and white, badly formatted flyer AND their explanation on the back, taking the form of the unfortunately standard, watch-your-backside terms and conditions fine print says as clear as beef stew that this is not a Visa card - visual and tactile mimicry notwithstanding.
Apparently my new Cingular Wireless rebate card "works like cash." I'm told I should "protect it like cash." I should "keep my number confidential" and "keep this information for (my) your files."
Hey CINGULAR WIRELESS! (Notice I write their name as they write their name - out of respect, of course...) WHAT THE DEVIL IS THIS THING?
It gets better.
This thing, this plastic non-Visa, Visa-like card "works like cash" right? They just told me so. Mysteriously I have $30 of "like cash" on the card. (Does this make me special to them or ordinary, I wonder?) The form says "$30 for you to spend." AND YET - I am to go online to their website or call an 800 number to "Confirm your available funds," as if the just-like-cash might not actually be mine, or be there - or (and this is the point all the marketing folks at Cingular don't understand) be REAL! It's as if the ten-dollar bills my Grandmother sent for my birthday require I call the Federal Reserve to confirm I can spend them.
I repeat - HEY CINGULAR WIRELESS, WHAT THE DEVIL IS THIS THING?! (Notice a little more oomph in my voice?)
Note to CINGULAR WIRELESS MARKETING HONCHOS - spin your chairs around to the other side of your desks and have a look at the world through my eyes. In this day when consumers have seen it all, in this age when a third of a 30-second radio/TV commercial is taken up with annoying, caveat-emptor hyper-speak, in this age of identity theft and offers that are far less good for the recipients than for the offerers, try seeing the world through your clients' eyes.
I was born in the sixties, so I'm pretty much reared on paper stuff (though I'm quite comfy with plastic, too, when I know CLEARLY what the plastic is all about.) This non-credit-card-rebate-just-like-cash-object, is it a replacement for the old fashioned paper rebate check? Is this a gift card I can use anywhere?
Now look deeper. IF this thing is a true rebate, with no strings attached - If you've really given me the equivalent of $30, no-hooks-use-it-or-lose-it cash - why not make it so incredibly clear that's what this is? You need to recognize I don't inherently trust you - in fact, quite the reverse.
Format the document better. Let me know why I've gotten this in the mail. (Was there a class action lawsuit I was a party to that settled in my favor? Are you being a "nice company?" Did you just discover an extra billion dollars in your company mattress and decide to share it with all your customers, or just the good ones? Am I special to you, for some reason? Is this a marketing ploy or a gift? HINT: I like gifts more.) I'll trust you more when I know you're not putting three tenners in my left pocket and picking my right one at the same time.
Hey CINGULAR WIRELESS marketing team - stop marketing to me in the same kind of blah-blah-blah, disjointed, blabber language of too-many cell phone conversations. Be clear. Morph your tongue into a set of eyes and ears and notice how your (hopefully generous) offer/gift/whatchamacallit, could be misconstrued. Take a few different perceptual readings and notice how you might become less trusted by me than you were before spending your marketing dollars to get my attention. (A feat, I must admit.)
Don't worry, I'll call your 800 number (much to your financial detriment, I might add, because I am not giving this non-credit-card-good-as-cash-ish thing to anyone for payment until I ask a few dozen questions...which will cost you at least a half-hour's labor.)
Had you done a better job in the first place, you would have really enhanced our relationship - which was your goal - I hope. B+ for good intentions.
Can you hear me now? (Oops, that's the other guys.)
POSTSCRIPT
What happened next
While rummaging through a pile of papers I found a Visa Rebate Card Offer Mail-In Redemption Form - dated 10/7/04. OCTOBER seventh! I can't remember what I filled out last week, for all the stuff in my head, much less something from 145 days ago.
And, to make my point about companies being out of touch with their customers even more potent - why didn't Cingular remind me the rebate is part of the deal I initially agreed to? Shouldn't they have reminded me so I knew that they followed through on their commitments and the promises made in the promotion that enticed me to choose them instead of one of their many competitors
Most of my clients are entrepreneurs. Don't make the mistake of thinking this story is germane only to large corporations. It's a problem for lots of privately owned organizations making several hundred thousand or tens of millions in annual revenue. Beware! Business commonly breeds distance and coldness.
What are your communications with your customers really saying to them? About them and how you think and feel about them? Warning: it can easily be different from what you think.
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| Friday, February 25, 2005 |
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Letter from a Poet to a Friend
Dateline - Furuborg, Jonsered, in Sweden - November 4, 1904
My Dear Mr. Kappus,
In this time that has gone by without a letter, I have been partly traveling, partly so busy that I could not write. And even today writing comes hard to me because I have already had to write a lot of letters so that my hand is tired. If I could dictate, I would say a great deal to you, but as it is, take only a few words for your long letter.
I think of you, dear Mr. Kappus, often and with such concentrated wishes that that really ought to help you somehow. Whether my letters can really be a help, I often doubt. Do not say: yes, they are. Just accept them and without much thanks, and let us await what comes.
There is perhaps no use my going into your particular points now; for what I could say about your tendency to doubt or about your inability to bring outer and inner life into unison, or about all the other things that worry you -- it is always what I have already said: always the wish that you may find patience enough in yourself to endure, and simplicity enough to believe; that you may acquire more and more confidence in that which is difficult, and in your solitude among others. And for the rest, let life happen to you. Believe me: life is right, in any case.
And about emotions: all emotions are pure which gather and lift you up; that emotion is impure which seizes only one side of your being and so distorts you. Everything that you can think in the face of your childhood, is right. Everything that makes more of you than you have heretofore been in your best hours, is right. Every heightening is good if it is in your whole blood, if it is not intoxication, not turbidity, but joy which one can see clear to the bottom. Do you understand what I mean?
And your doubt may become a good quality if you train it. It must become knowing, it must become critical. Ask it, whenever it wants to spoil something for you, why something is ugly, demand proofs from it, test it, and you will find it perplexed and embarrassed perhaps, or perhaps rebellious. But don't give in, insist on arguments and act this way, watchful and consistent, every single time, and the day will arrive when from the destroyer it will become one of your best workers -- perhaps the cleverest of all that are building at your life.
That is all, dear Mr. Kappus, that I am able to tell you today. But I am sending you at the same time the reprint of a little poetical work that has now appeared in the Prague periodical Deutsche Arbeit. There I speak to you further of life and of death and how both are great and splendid.
Yours:
Rainer Maria Rilke
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| Wednesday, February 23, 2005 |
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Suh-WEET Victory
(23) Villanova 76
(3) Boston College 70
WooHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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| Friday, February 18, 2005 |
Click Here.with your thoughts on living unapologetically large
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Tree or Twig?
A man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away. - Charles Schwab
...and then what? We already had one of what you just made yourself into. What's the use of two of the same?
Oh! If only we believed in how inherently, magically, mysterious-no-matter-how-much-more-left-brained-this-culture-becomes-ly potent we are when different from each other (and still working in community) and that diversity in our social systems infuses more potential than does mimicry (with no more risk, contrary to popular opinion and Darwinian thinking misapplied to human social systems), we would stop turning our schools and businesses and clubs and families into factories for cranking out identical, Model-T-Ford human look-, sound-, talk- and feel-alikes.
But, that would take a different world view - and a change of being by the hearts and minds of the people who set up the systems and work so hard to maintain them (and let's be fair to the system-protectors...the same change would be necessary in the hearts and minds of the people comprising the crowds in those systems). So here's a plug for self-determination...and blazing trails and living an inside-out life.
Don't think for a second you'll be lonely...unless you want to be. Marching to your own drummer doesn't presuppose lasting separation. Such suffering is the unnecessary result of poor vision and laziness in thought and behavior. There are communities all over that would welcome and enjoy you, even with your differentness, abnormal vision (thank you!) and weird way of talking - and more likely because of them.
So now choose. What will you be? A whittled twig or a mighty tree?
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| Friday, February 11, 2005 |
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TV and Social Currency
Since I turned my television off a month ago, committing to use it for the occasional video and CD (and sporting event, I must confess), I've noticed a few changes to my days and nights.
I initially undertook this action as an experiment to see how I'd fill my evenings without the instant gratification and instant, ready-made messages from cable television. I also wanted to stop infusing my spirit with the incessant "you don't have enough yet" messages from commercials. It seems clear now that my experiment is turning into a permanent way of living.
I notice that my friends and I don't talk about what is on TV, partly because I don't know. I didn't even know the State of the Union address happened until I glanced at an article about it on a website. What I recall of most conversations about TV was that we were more telling each other what we'd seen, more recalling facts and details than thinking or explorating anything deep. Even when I talked with friends about my old favorite, West Wing, we talked mostly about "how well written it is" or what an amazing actor Allison Janney is. "What was John Spencer in before? Oh, that's right, Hill Street Blues. Man, that was a good show!" Nothing really important there, not even that we connected around the subject of West Wing.
Why is it not important that we were connecting around West Wing? Because without it, I've discovered we can connect around a bunch of other things, too. So, the "convenience" of TV, or the position of TV as a generator of Social Currency - the social glue created by sharing something relating to the consumption or experience of the same event (e.g. movies, the Superbowl, news) - is nice, but not essential to connecting at all. One must always consider the substance of what the glue is. Fortunately, my friends and I have a bunch of connection points, including not talking and talking about things we don't have a common experience of. Fortunately, too, none of my friends are TV junkies.
One surprise from my "turning the tube off" experiment is how little attention I now pay to most everything that makes up our pop culture. I keep abreast of key trends and events so I can continue to serve clients very well, though I no longer partake of the mass-media hyped programs, the puffing-up of this person and the tearing down of that person as entertainment, like they were gladiators and I was a spectator in the colluseum. I seem to be developing the eyes of an anthropologist; watching the movement of the collective mind, principles and spirit as a function of everyday attitudes and behaviors. This is fun for me. I well understand for some it's like drinking sand.
I am certain that TV is the easy, culturally accepted and engrained way of ending our days. Seems to me there are about a hundred alternatives available to us. Let's think together here...what they could be?
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| Tuesday, February 8, 2005 |
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Dearest Wendy
My lifetime friend Wendy celebrates a milestone birthday today. and I celebrate Wendy publicly in these pages.
Tut, you know how much you mean to me. No phase of my life has been unimpressed by you. For the deep connection, the endless laughter, the effortless being together and an inner album of memories that would make Kodak swoon - Thank you.
Odd as it may seem to some people reading this today, I picked out a poem that captures our relationship perfectly. In fact, I've resolved to read it at your memorial if I should outlive you. An odd thing to consider, though there is nothing morbid here. Robert Frost wrote beautiful ideas and experiences like we've already enjoyed in abundance into words which pay you just the right reverence. Once more, I repeat a phrase I've uttered more times than could possibly be numbered - Thanks, Tut!
Iris by Night
One misty evening, one another's guide,
We two were groping down a Malvern side
The last wet fields and dripping hedges home.
There came a moment of confusing lights,
Such as according to belief in Rome
Were seen of old at Memphis on the heights
Before the fragments of a former sun
Could concentrate anew and rise as one.
Light was a paste of pigment in our eyes.
And then there was a moon and then a scene
So watery as to seem submarine;
In which we two stood saturated, drowned.
The clover-mingled rowan on the ground
Had taken all the water it could as dew,
And still the air was saturated, too,
Its airy pressure turned to water weight.
Then a small rainbow like a trellis gate,
A very small moon-made prismatic bow,
Stood closely over us through which to go.
And then we were vouchsafed the miracle
That never yet to other two befell
And I alone of us have lived to tell.
A wonder! Bow and rainbow as it bent,
Instead of moving with us as we went
(To keep the post of gold from being found),
It lifted from its dewy pediment
Its two mote-swimming many colored ends
And gathered them together in a ring.
And we stood in it softly circled round
From all division time or foe can bring
In a relation of elected friends.
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| Saturday, February 5, 2005 |
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Unflappable
One of the greatest ways to increase joy in your life, which by the way is the prerequisite to lasting creativity, innovation and effectiveness is to see every piece of data, every encounter, idea, every aspect of feedback as fodder for future growth. Along that vein, gratefully consider this idea:
The beginner detests criticism,
The wise soul weighs it,
The master says, "But, of course!"
Compliments of Mr. A. Dooley.
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| Thursday, February 3, 2005 |
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Make the Effort
I receive several inquiries about my services each week, many of them via email. The way we use email fascinates me, and makes me groan. So many of us think it's a tool for immediate communication. Many think it's perfect for urgent or time sensitive requests. Never mind that many messages are horribly formatted, contain spelling errors and are badly written. Perhaps the worst gaff I see in email messages is getting the recipient's name wrong. It is a fantastically simple thing to get right - a person's name. It takes very little effort.
My name is David. As a young adult, I went by Dave. For the past thirteen years I've referred to myself, both verbally and in writing, as David. You'll not see me sign anything as Dave, not a card, a Visa slip or an autograph. It's David, thank you. When you read this website, you see my name is David. On every page it is David. Nowhere will you see the word, Dave, when referring to me. Why then do I get emails from adult men and women, who say they've read this website, greeting me as Dave?
Let it be learned, when you get a person's name wrong, you can consider that you have not greeted them at all - at best. At worst, you have greeted them poorly. There is perhaps no more basic a sign of respect than properly greeting a fellow human by his or her correct name. So, what's up with people getting mine wrong?
First, the writer has not paid sufficient attention to important details. In my experience, there will be other places where such inattention costs him dearly. Usually, he won't realize it. Second, we have become too lazy in how we construct emails. Instead of looking at them as written expressions with half-lives as long as any written word (however short they are), we treat them as if we were sending notes in class. If you and I have never met, your early emails to me are the equivalent of formal letters and should be constructed with requisite care. If Dave was used as an informal, familiar version of my name, note that no such vibe has yet been co-created between us. As one introduces oneself to you, as you come to know a person by her or his writings or letters, you should greet that person.
In verbal communication, we know that what we say is the smaller part of getting a message or request across. How we say something is more important. Tone, pace, timbre, pitch, body language act as the delivery vessel for our messages. But, Email doesn't allow for inflection or the raising of an eyebrow or the moderation of breath, so these things will be projected into it by the reader. We should be extra careful to communicate cleanly via email. Don't believe me? Try writing the word, "Huh?" or the questions, "What do you want?" and "Why?" in email. See how often they are taken lightly or with a wink and a smile (emoticons notwithstanding) as they might be when spoken. Email is a precarious medium for a great many statements and questions that verbally put with a good tone, would present no problems.
A badly constructed email is the equivalent of saying something badly. Have we forgotten how communication works, or just habituated laziness? Communication is an alive, multi-directional process. In order for you to reach me, you must get a few things right, not least my name. Referring to me respectfully by my correct and proper name is the first step in creating rapport with me. Get that wrong and it's uphill from there. Get that wrong and it's a worse situation than you imagine; you will not have created no rapport, you will have created negative rapport.
Lastly, we are all busy. I don't know a single man or woman who is not busy. We cannot use this as an excuse for ineffective communication. At the heart of true wisdom is slowness and depth. I'm not suggesting monking-out. I'm suggesting that slowing down allows for high quality.
We can hardly claim the ground of professional when our everyday communication is unprofessional, a.k.a. ineffective. No matter how technologically advanced we become, business will always be - heck, life will always be about our relationships. When we have relationships of great respect, honor, caring and love, we are successful. It's about relationships. It's ALL about relationships. Make the effort to build them well, from the start; get the name right.
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| Sunday, January 30 2005 |
Click Here.to share what beliefs this poem challenges
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Ithaca
When you start on the journey to Ithaca,
then pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
Do not fear the Lestrygonians
and the Cyclopes and the angry Poseidon.
You will never meet such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your body and your spirit.
You will never meet the Lestrygonians,
the Cyclopes and the fierce Poseidon,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not raise them up before you.
Then pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many,
that you will enter ports seen for the first time
with such pleasure, with such joy!
Stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and corals, amber and ebony,
and pleasurable perfumes and all kinds,
buy as many pleasurable perfumes as you can;
visit hosts of Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from those who have knowledge.
Always keep Ithaca fixed in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for long years;
and even to anchor at the isle when you are old,
rich with all that you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would never have taken the road.
But she has nothing more to give you.
And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not defrauded you.
With the great wisdom you have gained, with so much experience,
you must surely have understood by then what Ithacas mean.
- C.P. Cavafy, the great Greek poet, 1911
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| Tuesday, January 25 2005 |
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A Class Act
Yesterday I had a meeting with a local business leader to get acquainted. We met at his office, a beautiful building that reflects clouds and sky in its blue mirrored windows. I was in a great mood anyway, owing to, among other things, having an amazing January and the typical San Diego sunny weather. As I entered the reception area, I was visually greeted by a sign that read, "Welcome David Facer." Let me tell you, I was moved. The sign was printed in blue letters and set off the page by shadowing so my name nearly popped out of the wood frame that showed it prominently on the reception desk.
Now, let me be clear; I was not impressed. That is an intellectual thing. I was moved; that's an emotional thing. And if there is one thing the owner, partner and executive needs to fully understand, it is the importance of emotions in all decisions made in business. Most don't understand this at all. They think they can simply focus on operational efficiencies and "exceeding client expectations" and they're good to go. Well, yes and no. Lots of business is done in the traditional way which sees people as numbers and transactions. We do learn to adapt to our environments, as do all animals. But, we must ask, "Is this the best we can do?" Get personal! "Is this the best I can do?" I'm not just talking about Home Depot and Walmart here. I'm talking about small and mid-sized operations all over the land; owners, partners and executives with their noses so fixed on the grindstone that they have forgotten it's about helping and caring about people. All the rest of it should be in service to that simple ideal - serving and helping people.
After the meeting I shared my feelings about the sign and my new budding professional friend, without hesitating, offered to give me the sign, frame and all. What is this guy on? We have to get it into the hands (or drinks) of business leaders everywhere!
During our talk I learned of a meeting in which this guy teamed with a colleague who outright lied to a prospect in order to sell more services. My conversation partner called the prospect afterwards and told him the information he was given was incorrect. In fact, he told the prospect it was a lie. The prospect said, "I know he lied. I did my research beforehand."
It seems the care shown me with the welcome sign was no sudden brainstorm or mere tactic pulled from a selling seminar on how to win friends and influence people. This guy's entire way is about integrity, connection and open caring.
If ever there was a reason to support cloning, this guy is it!
Now - questions to you: How do you see business? As transactions or opportunities to express something really important about your true self through what and how you sell, or run your department? What does the way you work say about your character? What are you contributing to the world? Is it your highest self, the part you want people to talk about when they eulogize you? 'Cuz let me tell you, if you learned that you had a short time to live, or your partner, son or daughter did, you'd want to have done it right.
Email us to share the evidence of how you overtly care about your customers.
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| Monday, January 24 2005 |
Click Here.to say anything you want....aaaaaaaanything at all
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Not Missing It
So you know by now I unplugged cable TV. You also know I was worried about missing it. Well, here's an update; I do a little and far, far less than anticipated.
Interestingly, I find I don't miss the Discovery or History Channels or much else. I'm glad to be free of ads and the seven-minute attention span that network programming helps culturalize (only if we're watching, by the way). Is it any wonder people struggle with ADD? I wonder if there is a correlation between the bazillion cell phone calls made each day and our media-aided dwindling attention spans. I'm no scientist, but I don't think there is a canyon to leap there.
I don't miss the ads, though many include good humor and timeless wisdom. I've realized it's silly to get bent out of shape because companies live to sell products. It's a bit like getting upset at a shark for living to eat other creatures; it simply acts out its nature. And for the network executives and actors (that includes the news people) who live to entertain, inform or sway us, they are living out their essentials, too. It's my decision to watch and buy what they're selling - or not. The medium has no inherent power.
I do miss CNBC for financial market news. I realized, though, that like CNN, if I watched half an hour, I saw the entire day's programming. Those folks have got repetition down to an art form. I'm surprised I don't miss my former favorite program, West Wing.
Now for a surprise! Twice I plugged the cable back in to watch NFL football. Before you say anything let me tell you more. I watched ONLY the games I intended to watch. I muted most of the commercials and did not channel surf at all! Who said a grown man can't learn new things? Immediately after the game, before the endless analysis and interviews with the gladiators, I turned the TV off. Aren't you proud of me? I'm proud of me. A new discipline was developed.
Now it's 3:15 a.m. Time for sleep.
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| Thursday, January 20 2005 |
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Tell Them
"At long last, Hello, or better yet, Aloha nui loa!" That is the first line in a letter I received today from my high school earth science and physics teacher, Miss M. I really wish I could print her full name so I could celebrate her properly.
Her letter is signed with her proper name, but I think it is right to call her by how I remember her. If we ever cross physical paths again, I'll surely use her first name. But, using it now seems a bit like calling my mother by her first name; somehow it doesn't show quite the right reverence.
Miss M was a tough teacher. She wasn't strict so much as intent that I learn. As a freshman she really taught me how to apply myself and work vigorously for the good grades I received. As a physics student, I witnessed a woman's ability to bring her subject alive with dry humor, creativity and a generous spirit.
If it seems like I'm gushing it is because saying things like this is rare, and so a little bit seems like a lot. It may be a lot, yet it is hardly enough. Telling these truths, these stories is one of the great joys of being a human. What greater gift to an educator than to tell her that she had a profound effect on my development, and hence my life?
I have harbored a regret since those final days of high school; that I didn't name Miss M in my yearbook profile as my Favorite Teacher. I chose another powerful influence, a woman equally deserving. Still, I felt I slighted Miss M. She's retired to Hawaii so I'll go out on a limb here and say she has fully recovered from the disappointment. Nonetheless - I regretted that.
We must say these things, these things we don't say because we're too busy or too timid or feel it is too emotional.
Teachers, coaches, librarians, bosses, babysitters, volunteers, the retired couple across the street, Mr. and Mrs. K, who made wonderful german food and brought the most amazing Jewish bagels and bialys from New York for our family and treated my sister and mother with incredible lovingkindness and taught us to sing along with Alvin and the Chipmonks and learn about Norway and her father's house. Tell them all. Say it all. It's what life is about. Read that again; it...is...what...life...is...about.
Miss M - Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you and once more Thank you.
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| Wednesday, January 19 2005 |
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Leave the BIG Thoughts to Children
If only adults could learn to listen to children, there would be no need for Coaches.
This from Andrew Robinson, Age 9 of New Jersey - out of Highlights magazine -
If the Leaf Calls Just to You
Chase it
Into the forest.
Float through the air
Until you can fly no more.
The wind will pick you up again
To drift back home.
And when the sun sets
Soar into your dreams of wonder.
And if the leaf calls again
Drift back
Through the trees
To it and soar!
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| Saturday, January 15 2005 |
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Big Idea
We can't accept the notion that our dreams are constrained by our budgets. - Fast Company
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| Thursday, January 12 2005 |
Don't click anywhere. Close this box. Meet Silence.
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Meet the Silence
Today I read that Apple Computer has introduced a line of iPod products soon available with every Volvo model the car company makes. The iPod is helping transform Apple Computer into a broad consumer electronics powerhouse. Great for Apple and all the people who enjoy having 2500 songs at their iPod-tips.
The great thing about the iPod is you get to listen to just the music you want to hear, not a random selection based on what others, who will never in a million marketing years know you well, want to play. It also insulates you from advertisements. I think cassette players and CDs allow this, too. Anyway, I say bravo to those who are Just Saying No to adverts.
Sirius Satellite Radio and XM Satellite Radio offer commercial-free programming (some of it music) for people who can't stand commercials anymore. Once again, bravo to the no advert converts.
In this consumer culture, meaning a society purposefully structured with a primary value on selling and purchasing products and services and a reliance on the average American spending a full 110% of their annual incomes, these products create buzz and get a lot of people excited. My question is this:
While it's great to say no to advertisements and to select only that which you want to hear, what do these increasingly popular products, services and attendant behaviors say about us? Why do we detest Silence so much?
Digression:. Potential investors listen up! My new product is The Activate Potential Silence Portal - APSP for short. (Acronyms help sell products, as do non-word words like drug companies use.) It's a small device placed in the dashboard of your car that looks a lot like a black plastic panel, the sort that used to be inserted where a radio might have gone in the days when people had to choose to add radios as upgrades. The APSP electronically connects to nothing. It has no logo on it. It's just matt-black plastic. Installation is free. During installation the cable from what used to be your radio is severed, leaving you with a new opportunity to acquaint yourself, perhaps for the first time since you were in the womb, with Silence. This service, device included, costs you absolutely no money.
You can reallocate the funds you would have spent on intentional sound producing devices to anything you wish; books perhaps. Maybe a pair of walking shoes to take in the nature that is chattered out by radio. Sunscreen for use at the beach or the park? Perhaps you will use the money for ice cream cones for the kids in your life, or some adult neighbors you don't yet know well, or for a black cherry cone from Cliffs DairyMaid on Route 10 in Ledgewood, New Jersey with your Mom.
Maybe you give the money to a charity that works with ____________(fill in the blank).
Maybe you just keep it so when you're retired you have enough material wealth that you can volunteer your spirit and skills for the betterment of the lives of people and animals and the earth, who can easily be impoverished by our obsession with technology.
If you want breakthrough results in any area of living, invite in silence, not as a replacement for thinking aloud, vocal collaboration and teamwork in the traditional sense, rather as an augmentation of it. Silence instructs. The messages we can't hear for all the noise are still messages and, as anyone who has done what I'm suggesting can attest, are often the most potent messages available.
Silence used in this way generously gives new perspectives on your subject. With new vantage points you will be more perceptive. It's not just a nice spiritual idea I'm espousing here; it's also incredibly powerful and productive. The single most important thing a leader must do is learn to be more perceptive. Even before action - enhanced perception is more important.
Where in your personal life is a substantial upgrade needed? Invite in Silence.
Where in your business is an upgrade imperative? Invite in Silence.
What the devil happened to Silence? What choices do you continue to make to swat it away? What do you lose by constantly swatting?
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| Monday, January 10, 2005 |
Do not click here. Just go out and do it!!
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Are You Sure?
Television update coming soon. In the meantime, contemplate this:
Are you sure?
Limited perceptions cause incorrect thinking and unnecessary suffering.
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| Friday, January 7, 2005 |
Do not click here. Just go out and do it!!
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Stop Watching
At some point it's time to pay no more attention to what other people in your field are doing.
Today I attended a business planning workshop put on by what seemed a well established company. Soon after the program began I knew I would leave before it was over.
Suffice it to say, I was not moved. Instead of staying the planned seven hours, I left after two and applied my disappointment to upgrading my own programs so that what I envision is ultimately delivered to my clients.
Here's the big lesson: I have been to enough workshops in their clinical, left-brained-standard-hotel-meeting-room-setup-classroom-style-with-white-food-service-table-cloths format to know they are not for me. I don't need more evidence. I don't need to see what anyone else in the business coaching industry is doing to deliver my group learning experiences the way I want them to be. I've done all the research needed. Now it's time to just do it. Nike was so wise with that slogan.
Stop comparing and create. Stop the analyses at "enough" information and produce. Stop worrying about another company maybe doing it better. Or the guy in the next cubicle or the department across the company or the V.P. who seems to know everything. Do it amazingly well. If they do it as well, good on them.
Let us go from watching to the ones being watched.
Now dig in and go be powerful and magnificent.
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| Wednesday, January 5, 2005 |
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Cut the Chord
I am now television-free. What's the Daily Journal-worthiness of this fact? We all - and I do believe ALL need to shake the ground beneath our comfy lives from time to time. Those things we most resist doing are often the most catalytic upgrades we can make. Make the phone call for that tough conversation. Ask for more respect. Put that employee on notice. Open your pocketbook or wallet to invest in something you think you can't afford and yet know you can't afford not to do. Risk! Wisely and boldly.
It must be said this small TV change was a triage in my life. I had slipped into the habit of using TV as my companion. Thing is - it didn't challenge me much. The communication was all one way; either me or it talking in a monologue. Enough.
So far I've been bowling, had a friend over for dinner and drinks and have scheduled to go to an important movie with another friend tonight. I've been out later on a school night than I have in years, and - surprisingly, I feel more vibrant the next days than when I just sat in and watched television "relaxing."
It turns out that when I'm more stimulated with social interaction and connection with humans (naturally it must be the right interaction and the right humans for me), I feel more energetic than when I was just resting, sedentary. Trippy.
What are you avoiding doing that you just know, on a level far quieter than your intellectualized objections and clever avoidance strategies, is just what the inner doctor ordered?
Fess up!
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| Sunday, January 2, 2005 |
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Even More Available
I can now be reached on AOL Instant Messenger and Yahoo Instant Messenger with the screen name:
Activ8Potential
Feel free to be in touch.
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| Sunday, January 2, 2005 |
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Deep Six the TV?
I'm seriously considering cutting the cable to the television. I think it would result in the reclamation of a lot of time and energy. My sense is I'd go through withdrawal for a short time. I have a fantasy of reading more, connecting more with human beings, being more social and getting more exercise. I also imagine the house and cars would be clean all the time.
What do I lose? The social currency of shared knowledge of and experience with pop culture. Excuses. CNBC. West Wing wisdom. Padres baseball.
What do you think will happen in my world without TV programming in it?
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| New Year's Day, Two Thousand Five, |
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Dear Activate Potential Clients,
Thank you for the inspiration. Thank you for being so bold, courageous, funny and curious. Thanks for reminding me what is possible when a person decides to tackle their toughest challenges with open an open mind, heart and perspective.
Thank you for all your referrals.
I am glad to support you.
Happy New Year.
Warmly,
David
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| Tuesday , December 28, 2004, |
Risk abounds. Click Here to show us your boundaries.
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Risk Abounds
I just told an important friend, a guy whose intellect, demeanor and spirit I really enjoy, that his partner is no longer welcome in my home. In so doing, I put our relationship at risk. Now, before you say it shouldn't be at risk and if it is strong enough it won't be affected by my bold decision, let us remind ourselves that after this decision we're in the realm of emotion, not logic. We have to apply a different intelligence here.
The particulars of what happened are unimportant, except that they were the latest in a pattern. Soon after being called an idiot a realization came with indelible clarity; "I don't enjoy this guy and do not intend to suffer him again. This is the last time " I immediately felt better knowing my own spirits would rise from the seed of a strong, self-affirming decision.
I feel it important to say that I know I'm not seeing the entire panoramic picture. My friend loves his partner. To my friend, the guy is brilliant. I have not had the pleasure of that particular vantage point and am not taking more thumps on the head waiting for a ray of light. At some point you have to trust what you've experienced as true for you and act on that, despite what anyone else in your world has experienced. If my friend's rose smells like vinegar to me, it smells like vinegar to me. Period.
A decision was required; either do nothing different and prepare for nothing different or bolster the boundary of acceptability around me and risk causing a rift with my friend. There is no taking risk out of the equation. I had only to choose which way I would be at risk.
The risk had I done nothing would have been the risk of declining enthusiasm for being with my friend when the three of us were together. I don't like looking forward to my friend's departure. There was the risk of being at less than my best during our times together. A third risk was stuffing down important emotions in favor of keeping peace. Yet another, depleting my energy keeping up appearances - a facade of enjoyment - only to have to climb out of that hole on my own later on. And perhaps the biggest risk of all - the risk of not standing up for myself and affirming what is right for me.
The risk I chose to embrace was what I assess to be a temporary strain in our friendship, believing our bond will weather this storm. Not all friendships would, to be sure. I think this one will. And if it spins my head around and doesn't, I still walk forward in my life boldly, knowing I consciously build my social group and fill it with people who value me highly, and who I naturally enjoy.
Think of personal boundaries as membranes; whatever you allow inside will affect the health of the organism - you. (This metaphor works well for organizations, too.) Invite people in carefully. If you choose well, your inner circle will be full of positive forces like happiness, creativity and respect. If you find the membrane was breached by someone who is unhealthy for you, make sure to use your expulsion system. Toxins are to be avoided. If that sounds harsh, just invite them out. The risk to your prosperity and health are too great to do otherwise.
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| Sunday , December 26, 2004, |
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The Day After
Can you feel it? Does the energy in the air seem different than in the past month? It seems to me the vibe is more mellow, more regular. What now?
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| Friday, December 24, 2004, |
Click Here to share your ideas on Gratitude and Generosity
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Musings on Gratitude and Generosity
Merry Christmas. The great contribution of this holiday to the consciousness of the global community is the principles the celebration stands on; gratitude and generosity foremost among them. Surely this can be said of all spiritual traditions. Politics and monotheism aside, they all focus our attention on Gratitude and Generosity.
Did you know that a little less than 34% of the world's population are Christian? More than two out of three world citizens have another way of interfacing with the divine and explaining the journey of life. I like that fact - because I like that there are many facets in the kaleidoscope of spirit.
Gratitude and Generosity - Physical gifts are not the only way to demonstrate them. How many other ways can you conceive of to demonstrate your reverence for another human being?
Christmas is a great annual reminder of Gratitude and Generosity. The question is, is it central to our lives? Is it a way, or an event? How well do you weave Christmas's precepts into your average, mundane Tuesdays throughout the year? Wednesdays, Fridays? How about Saturday chore days?
The Christmas season, as it's defined in the Christian calendar and our secular cultural systems, is a way of extending the meditation beyond a single day. Consider the Christmas season as an extended meditation that culminates in feasting on gifts and food. How much of the season did you spend in an extended conscious contemplation of Gratitude and Generosity? Perhaps all the shopping and baking and card writing has been an unconscious meditation. That is beautiful. Imagine making every such action a conscious meditation on Gratitude and Generosity. What Happens then? How would the chores - how would your exhaustion - how would all the business of the holiday season change in meaning? Is there a difference in meaning when you imagine an extended conscious meditation instead of an unconscious one? Is there a difference in your experience of the holy day's meaning when you look back having made every small and big to-do list item a purposeful contemplation and demonstration of Gratitude and Generosity?
I also think about the non-material things I have to be Grateful for, things that are themselves incredibly Generous. One example is nature. It doesn't get much think-time this time of year, except maybe to complain about it. I think of the planet. I think of the earth, without which all our amazing technical creations would be impossible. I think of breezes, rain, sand and bugs. They don't care about gifts from Target and Burdines. How might we show them Gratitude? (I imagine ants to be quite partial to baked goods - finally a use for fruit cake!)
What does the wind want? I think - nothing. It's Generous without wanting - quite the model for a human life. Maybe the best way to be Grateful is simply to let it caress our cheeks and whimsically arrange our hair and notice it, accept it, be with it - fully - making those few times a meditation on the wonder of an intersection of two paths; its and ours.
And what to your wandering eyes did appear but my musings on Gratitude and Generosity. Merry Christmas.
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| Thursday, December 16, 2004, |
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Whispering Truths
In one and a half hours I may become the least popular guy in my local business development group. I'll announce that I'm leaving the group for a larger community, but that isn't what may cause a flap. The flap will come when I share the stories other members have shared with me about how the group is not meeting their needs, how it is run and how they're feeling about all that.
I've discovered a great many people, maybe the majority, feel uncomfortable saying what's really going on, especially when it is not meeting their standards and needs. I discovered they feel comfortable telling the guy who is leaving, but not each other. I remember the same syndrome when I moved on from corporate marketing at EMC and Virgin. People were happy to share with me what they didn't share with the people able to change what they were unhappy with.
Maybe it's because from a young age we're taught to keep our thoughts to ourselves and only share them in the deepest private. Maybe it's because we've been trained in organizations to not rock the boat. As a freshman senator from Massachusetts, JFK was told, "If you want to get along, go along." Maybe it's because we have developed the habit of waiting until so long after our standards were breached and the transgressions are so significant that our emotions overwhelm our ability to conceive creative solutions to the problems. Whatever the cases, and all of the above are true, I'm going to pull the curtain aside so some light can shine on the many truths I've heard.
I will be polite and direct. They can go hand in hand. I will use specific examples without naming specific positions or individuals. And I expect that someone will say it is inappropriate for me to talk about these things publicly. Well, I think it's wrong to ignore the truth and I'm unwilling to use twenty times the time and energy to communicate individually with everyone in the group.
I was inclined to say it's wrong to ignore the truth "especially when it can lead to improvements," but that distinction is unnecessary. The truth can always lead to improvements. That is never in question. It is our determination to act on it that usually gets in the way. I think of the Cary Elwis movie, The Princess Bride and the crossing of the fire swamp. Often people won't cross the fire swamp to reach the higher ground because change is messy and fraught with danger. It's also necessary.
To the people who shared their needs and feelings with me I say, thank you and please say these things to the people who can work with you to affect the situation. To those who will hear the unstated needs and feelings of their peers for the first time I say, shoot the messenger if you like, and decide to learn more, at least.
Are there truths that need the light of day in your organization? In your social circle? In your intimate life? Are you courageous enough to speak them?
Pull the curtains back folks! There is a universe of improvement possibilities out there. The only requirement is - stop whispering the truth. You don't have to shout - just speak up. I'm happy to be the truth speaker this morning. The group that remains after I leave will need to find a replacement though. Hopefully they'll find as many replacements as there are members.
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| Monday, December 13, 2004, |
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A BIG Idea
How about this for a BIG Idea?
If you decide to be more than a (wo)man -
If you dedicate yourself to an ideal
You become something else entirely.
What does your business become then?
What does the word executive mean then?
Imagine; what would happen to your view of your work? Your life? Your parenting?
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| Friday, December 10, 2004, |
Click Here to call me nuts for suggesting we do less in December.
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BIG Ideas Newsletter Now Available
The upgraded BIG Ideas Newsletter is now published. The format is easy to read and rather striking.
This month's article is called, Wasting December. It's about how, with our incessant busy-ness at the end of the calendar year, we are totally out of phase with nature. Is it any wonder we feel overwrought? As always, I go beyond a description of the situation into an exploration of solutions, in this case how to better use December so you and everyone you interact with are more at peace.
Peace doesn't sound like a High Business word, does it? That's the problem! There is a culturally acceptable and reinforced gap between business and peace - in traditional American business certainly. Business leaders, department heads, owners, managers, executives should (yep - I said should) be very careful about the social and psychological environments they create. Happiness is far and away better for productivity than stress and "just get the job done" attitudes. Don't believe me? Read Harvard Business Review this month, pages 18-20 or any of dozens of studies on emotions in business.
People who think emotions don't belong in business are missing the simple fact that emotions are present in every situation. What they mean is they don't want to focus on them. They'd rather we just work, like machines, or "professionals". Well, the emotion they get with strategies like that are usually less optimal than they could possibly imagine.
Wasting December is about getting in synch with with natural rhythm. It's about swaying with the chilling breeze of the year end and preparing in a new way for the planting season of Spring.
Sign up to receive the newsletter monthly by entering your email via the subscription box on the front page of this site.
Happy Holidays. Happy Chilling Out.
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| Friday, December 10, 2004, |
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A Most Provocative Thought
I read this today:
Show me someone who keeps getting in your way and I'll show you someone who keeps making excuses.
How's that for a poke in the belly?
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| Thursday, December 2, 2004, |
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Learning It All
Today is an amazing day. I began working with another new client - a successful Realtor. When I listen to her talk about where she's been, both personally and professionally, and where she is going, for herself and for her family, I am inspired.
It's funny; people think it's me doing the inspiring all the time. Not true. Day in and day out I am taught about courage, tenacity, determination, managerial excellence, recovering from what people lazily call failure, the meaning of love and family as two of the primary ends at which our means are aimed. I learn what it means to be a man, and what it means to be a woman! Now THAT's interesting!
What amazing-ness did you experience today? In your work? In your family? In your inner life? With coworkers?
Learn it all and remember.
Remember. Remember. Remember.
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| Wednesday, December 1, 2004, |
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What's That You Say?
Earlier this week I received a proposal that at first glance seemed quite good; good defined as in alignment with both my ethics and objectives. Not long after I reviewed the offer closely, I noticed tightness in my upper chest. Confident I don't have a coronary condition, I recognized the tightness as the voice of Intuition.
I've capitalized Intuition out of respect. My relationship with Intuition is like my relationship with the dearest people in my life; characterized by intimacy, depth and deep listening. It has not always been that way. In my earlier years I relied primarily on Intellect, that generous gift from the cranial chemistry of my parents.
Years ago, when Intellect ruled the roost, my decisions were smart, well reasoned and easy to explain. The logic fit in Franklin charts. It was easy to stump for support and praise because I was correct. But, some of the decisions that made solid rational sense didn't feel right. It seemed Intellect couldn't detect everything (as no entity can.) It didn't matter really, it was just an intellectual curiosity, something I noticed dispassionately, like the start of a new mole. Back then I didn't recognize the voice of Intuition. If It and I were to meet on the street, I would have offered a polite "Hey" or "What's Up" without breaking stride on the way to my destination - later wondering why the look It gave seemed to go right through me.
Intellect is worthy of a capital I, as well. I bristle when neo-help professionals admonish the Thinker to "get out of your head and into your heart." I came into this world with my head leading the way and ain't no way I'm going to abandon its contributions. It's pretty darn good at what it does. The fact I have a good relationship with it does not preclude me from having an equally strong relationship with other parts of me. I have a great relationship with my lifetime friend, Wendy. She is happy for me to have an equally substantial relationship with my British friend, Gael.
The fact is, precisely because of my deep relationship with Wendy, I am able to progress beautifully with Gael. My extensive listening experience with Intellect helped me first notice Intuition's presence, then go beyond noticing (hearing) the presence of Intuition to hearing Its message. Then I went to the next level of intimacy; actively listening. Listening is a more generosity-, respect-, and gratitude-filled activity than hearing.
At Diedrich's coffee shop the other day I caught myself saying to my conversation partner, "I can't hear what you're saying." It occurred to me that I was really saying, "Would you please speak louder?" I wanted him to do more work. I think this is how we treat Intuition. When I talk with successful professionals, and individuals alike about Intuition, many say that they just don't seem to hear it. Or what they catch is fleeting. They want It to be bolder. They want It to speak up. I tell them to do more work and listen more closely. Intuition's voice is often quieter than we'd like. But then the voice of the Quiet Competent personality is rarely loud. It has the volume, tone and timber that comes with confidence and great wisdom.
Okay, since this is a journal entry and not a book (forthcoming), I'll hyperspace to the end. I did listen to Intuition's kinesthetic voice and turned down the proposal. Turns out, the proposal was based on some faulty assumptions and desires for a business relationship that was not completely in tune with my ethics and objectives. In this instance, Intellect said, "Everything seems in order," and Intuition said, "Hold on Intellect, I see something that is outside your view. Let's hold his foot on the brake for a while and get more information." What a pair. What a team! Thanks, Guys.
Like Wendy and Gael, the twin I's had my best interests at heart. I'm so glad I listened to them.
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| Tuesday, November 23, 2004, |
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Oh, the Places You'll Go!
Have you noticed by now that I encourage clients to look deeply into things? It's fun because information awaits our discovery. It's also the essence of the service I provide; new insights from new perspectives lead to new possibilities. The joy of this work is great conversations with all sorts of successful people; some who are totally immersed in careers; some who are trying to find their way; some who seem to have so much of the spirit of life figured out I wonder why they're on earth at all; some who are enjoying incredible ease, productivity and success, and yet are searching for "something more" - and some in outright pain. Of the latter group, some can't conceive of anything different and some can.
Here's a look at some recurring themes, which I'll explore in upcoming posts, and in the BIG Ideas Newsletter, which you can subscribe to via the Activate Potential homepage:
Consistency - How can I be consistent in my behavior? Here's a little teaser of where I'll go with this question: Precedent is not principle. Consistency is not character. And as is so often the case, to get consistent doing the right things, you may have to first become inconsistent.
I don't know - I hear this so many times it sounds like my dialogue partner's mantra. We'll explore the phrase and what is really happening when someone says it. We'll also look at when it is a block and when it's an opening to real insight and real progress.
That's great, but how do you quantify that? This is a favorite of the businessperson. We'll be talking about changing an big limiting belief to one that is positive-momentum-creating and I'll get this question. Business has men and women more than focused on the numbers; it has them fixated on them - addicted to them. How do you quantify a good relationship with your team? How do you quantify the benefit of clean and clear communication with your spouse? There are dozens of irrefutably essential aspects of life and business that will forever defy quantification. I'll explore when this question is used as a smoke screen against forward progress. I'll also look at how it can keep the asker comfortable, if ineffective.
Thoughts are stem cells of possibility - I love this idea. I read it recently in a publication called, Creative Thought, put out by the Church of Religious Science. I'm not going into the religion arena, though I will play with this idea. Just imagine...and then experience. That's the way it goes.
To my American readers - Happy Thanksgiving. May you feel the full weight of this holiday in your hearts as well as your stomachs. To the rest of you - I'll save you some pie.
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| Saturday, November 20, 2004, 3:38 a.m. |
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Program Not Responding
It is 3:38 a.m. and I've been up for an hour. Insomnia. After working a bit, I went to the NY Times website and clicked on an article entitled, Negotiators Add Abortion Clause to Spending Bill.
Almost immediately, I noticed my disk drive was thrashing, which it does when a website stops responding. The solution is to close the browser.
I wanted to read the article to learn about the process of passing government laws and bills. But, I'm glad I didn't get that far. In a way I was protected by the technical malfunction - or did it function perfectly for me? Anyway, nothing in that article would have enhanced my life. It contents might have given me a form of social currency, information, but I don't talk with people about those sorts of things anyway. Plus, my head is flooded with information already. Being lackadaisical about what else is let in won't help me sleep through the night. I'm not especially interested in the news of the day. Talking about it keeps us from getting to the really important stuff. I've noticed news-based conversations tend to be either an exercise in fact-recitation or outright debate, two pretty uninspired ways to communicate.
There is no good reason to invest my attention on that article. I'd not be elevated by its contents. Informed, yes. Elevated, no. And I go for elevated over informed every day of the week and twice on Sundays. Just because it's an information society doesn't mean I can't choose the information. I can read the billboards, or I can ignore them. I can literally not look at them. I can watch the TV commercials or choose to mute them. I can turn off The Tube entirely. I can listen to commercial radio with its inane chatter or choose my favorite CD. My friend, Merry, reminds me to recommend silence. I notice I see a lot more with the radio off.
If you want something substantial in your life, you'll have to make a space for it.
The best news so far today? Program Not Responding.
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| Wednesday, November 17, 2004 |
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Missing Connections and Lessons
Yesterday I missed an appointment with a wealth manager from Merrill Lynch. We were to meet to learn even more about each other and how we might refer clients to one another. We have twice scheduled this meeting and twice it has fallen through; once owing to an emergency on his end and yesterday because of my forgetfulness.
I feel really bad when I miss appointments. I so easily pick up the cat-of-nine-tails and begin emotionally and mentally flogging the part of me that forgot to sync my Pocket PC with my desktop. With the energy I have left, I zap awake the part of me that didn't show up as the mature, professional businessman I am most of the time. I toss in some salt by considering the poison I may have poured into the ground between us in which might grow a fruitful relationship.
Eventually, I come to my senses and analyze what happened so I permanently learn from it and permanently change my actions. Here's what I learned when I interrogated my reality: We scheduled our meeting after a referral group we attend weekly. The room was full of pairs and trines of members talking and laughing. In the midst of our conversation we were interrupted. Have you noticed how we give our attention to the person interrupting instead of the main players in our conversations? Can I put you on hold? Notice what happens when you are in a colleague's office and the phone rings. So, the interruption was allowed to derail my concentration. The note I put in my Pocket PC was incomplete. Then, for more than a week, owing to being busy, (a childish excuse), I neglected to sync my PC with my laptop. And, to give myself another reason to feel stupid, when I had an inkling that the meeting was coming up soon, I didn't check either my PC or handheld, nor did I call Mr. Merrill Lynch to check the schedule.
The learning: I give my full attention to the person I'm talking with. Everyone else waits. Being busy is not a justification for ineffectiveness. My inklings are right on. They are helpful messages from my subconscious mind and maybe even higher than that and they will be acted upon. I've learned that last lesson many times. It's time to pay full attention.
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| Tuesday, November 16, 2004 |
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Stop Spinning and Shift
I started a new group last night for business plan writing. I'd been planning it for two months after toying with the idea for twice that long, at least. Upon insistence from a terrific coach, Cassi Christiansen, I finally just shut up, stopped spinning the idea in my head and began planning the program in earnest. Lo and behold! it came together easily and the group assembled quickly with a little help from clients and friends.
After the first night's session, I felt it was a C+ effort on my part. No one told me it was a C+, I rated it that myself. Then I rear-view analyzed the three-hour program intensely, flopped into bed slightly despondent and vowed a fresh look in the morning.
Sunrise came and while making coffee it hit me; Stop spinning and adjust. It was time to exit thinking mode and plan an A+ second session for next Monday. I determined three important upgrades so the program meets my high standard for information and experience quality
Big deal, right? I made some changes. Well, yeah - after a lot of hand wringing. Here's what I remembered and how I shifted from wringing to revamping. First, I remembered what is important about the program to begin with. It is not merely to help entrepreneurs plan their businesses; it's to help them create a plan for the manifestation of their ideal businesses in the context of powerful lives. We're going for their ideals and nothing less. I remembered that sometimes it makes sense to follow my outline. I remembered that this is a new group, and as in cooking, it takes time for the ingredients to blend. What happens in that room is partly up to me and partly up to each of the others in the room. I remembered the aspects of me I forgot to add to the mix. When I let my creativity flow openly, share it generously, and combine it with solid information and a strong process, the workshop is rich and successful.
I'm glad I moved quickly from "Oh Damn" to, "Here are the adjustments I'm making right this second." I used to spin and stew on past performances for too long, missing opportunities for rapid intervention. I've seen this in others, too. Analysis paralysis and low emotions keep them inactive and on the same path. That old way consumes tremendous energy and often yields no tangible improvement.
I may not have started out precisely on plan, but by golly I now get on plan very soon after realizing I'm off course. Interestingly, after the adjustment in my mindset and approach, I noticed my emotions and thoughts shifted from insecurity and fear to excitement and determination; the latter two being altogether more productive.
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| Tuesday, November 9, 2004 |
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Welcoming Dad
My Father arrives today for a five day visit. I'm excited. We have a very full schedule and I'm working most of the week, too. Here's what we have planned:
A trip this afternoon to Tijuana, Mexico. He says he just want to pop across the border, touch Mexican soil and he'll be happy. I think we'll linger a bit, pop a beer and eat some good food before returning this evening.
A full day off-roading at the Ocotillo Wells off-road vehicle recreation area with a couple good friends. The run is entirely desert terrain that makes me feel like I'm driving on the sea floor - a million years ago.
He'll watch and listen to me give a speech to a business group way too early on Wednesday morning. I'll no doubt be more nervous than if he weren't there. Ordinarily I'm not nervous at all. I LOVE giving interactive talks.
A round of golf with a friend of mine up in "North County."
A semi-formal cocktail party in his honor so my friends can meet him and he can learn where I get many of my crazy ideas.
And full body massage (he doesn't know I've treated him to this) at a local spa, and last but not least,
A full day of pet therapy. I've organized to have my "former" dog for a day of walking, cuddling and chasing squirr | 